The groundbreaking handbook that helps parents guide their children through divorce and co-parenting including the introduction of step-parents from a New York Times bestselling author and child psychologist.
This is the definitive work from the renowned child psychologist Judith Wallerstein on a subject that concerns millions of American moms and dads: How can you protect your children during and after divorce?
Divorce is not a single event but a lifelong trajectory of changed circumstances that demand a different kind of parenting than we have ever known. In What About the Kids? Wallerstein draws on thirty years of in-depth interviews with children of divorce and their parents to show how to create a new family with compassion and wisdom. It covers issues that arise at the time of divorce as well as suggestions for talking to your children months and years after the event.
Eminent psychologist Judith S. Wallerstein shares her unique insight and advice in What About the Kids? the first comprehensive guide to easing the impact of divorce on your children including:
- The best and worst ages for children to experience their parents' divorce
- Right and wrong ways to explain divorce to your children
- Choosing a custody arrangement that's best for your child
- How to involve the grandparents a major resource?
- Getting the children on your side when you form new relationships
- The positive effects of divorce on children (believe it or not)
- How divorce can actually make you a better parent
- Raising children who grow up able to form lasting relationships
|Product dimensions:||5.25(w) x 8.12(h) x 1.12(d)|
|Age Range:||1 - 18 Years|
About the Author
Judith S. Wallerstein is the founder and executive director of the Center for the Family in Transition. She is senior lecturer emerita at the School of Social Welfare at the University of California at Berkeley, where she has taught for twenty-six years. She has spoken with more divorced families than anyone in the nation, and lectured to thousands of family court judges, attorneys, mental health professionals, mediators, and educators. She has appeared on Oprah, the Today show, and Good Morning America, among others. She is the author, with Sandra Blakeslee, of the national bestsellers The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts and Second Chances: Men, Women, and Children a Decade After Divorce; with Blakeslee and Julia M. Lewis of the bestseller The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25-Year Landmark Study; and, with Dr. Joan Berlin Kelly, of Surviving the Breakup: How Children and Parents Cope with Divorce. She lives in Belvedere, California. Sandra Blakeslee is an award-winning science writer who contributes regularly to the New York Times. She lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
Table of Contents
|Part 1||The Breakup||1|
|Chapter 1||Take Care of Yourself||3|
|Chapter 2||Telling the Children||19|
|Chapter 3||The Developmental Ladder||31|
|Chapter 4||Zero to Three||43|
|Chapter 5||Three-, Four-, and Five-Year-Olds||51|
|Chapter 6||Six-, Seven-, and Eight-Year-Olds||63|
|Chapter 7||Nine- and Ten-Year-Olds||73|
|Chapter 8||Eleven-, Twelve-, and Thirteen-Year-Olds||87|
|Chapter 9||Fourteen-, Fifteen-, Sixteen-, and Seventeen-Year-Olds||99|
|Chapter 10||College-Age Children||113|
|Chapter 11||Vulnerable Children||121|
|Chapter 12||What Is the "Best" Time to Divorce?||127|
|Chapter 13||Setting Routines and Structure||133|
|Chapter 14||Supporting the New Family||141|
|Chapter 15||A New Kind of Parent||157|
|Chapter 16||You and the Law||163|
|Chapter 17||Laying the Foundation for Custody and Coparenting||175|
|Chapter 19||High-Conflict Divorce||203|
|Chapter 20||How to Choose the Right Custody for Your Child||215|
|Part 3||The Post-Divorce Family||221|
|Chapter 21||Take Another Close Look at Your Children and at Yourself||223|
|Chapter 22||The Overburdened Child||231|
|Chapter 23||Parent-Child Alignments||239|
|Chapter 24||A New Kind of Teenager||247|
|Chapter 25||A New Kind of Father||259|
|Chapter 26||A New Kind of Mother||269|
|Part 4||Second Marriage||275|
|Chapter 27||Dating and Sex||277|
|Chapter 29||Insiders and the Remarried Family||299|
|Chapter 31||Blending Two Families||323|
|Chapter 32||Holidays and Special Occasions||333|
|Part 5||Conversations for a Lifetime||339|
|Chapter 33||How to Protect Children of Divorce in Young Adulthood||341|
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Informative and well written
Many, many children would be able to survive their parents's divorce with minimal stress if parent's had read this book before or during their divorce.
I ordered this book from BN.com in hopes that it would help me, as a soon to be fully divorced father of a 6 month old, find a way to approach a contested custody battle. While there is a LOT of advice in the book about custody in regards to children of all ages, the book is still geared towards mothers. This is very frustrating for me. The author does note that fathers are up and coming as equal and interested parents but then undermines that statement by continuing to refer to contact with the father as 'visits' and discuss sole custody almost entirely as being with the mother. I am not going to deny that this is the age old traditional case but I do deny that this is how it should be. I was hoping, from a book published so recently, for a fresh look at the subject but disappointingly found yet another, albiet less obvious, declaration of the close minded over important role of the mother in a child's life. For child to be healthy and happy, they require the attention, parenting and love of both parents equally. It is the imperative of the Family Court System here in Vermont and should be of anyone who loves their children. If you are looking for another arguement for the power of women over men in child's life, look no further. If you were hoping, like me, to find a balanced discussion on the importance of both parents in such a hard time, you're knocking at the wrong door.
When it comes to the children (including adults) of divorce parents, Judith S. Wallerstein is considered the self-help guru based on the insightful THE UNEXPECTED LEGACY OF DIVORCE. Her newest effort to help families is a discerning collaboration with Sandra Blakeslee that provides a how to guide book to assist divorcing or divorced parents with helping their children survive the break up of the marriage. The authors insist that the former spouses must straighten themselves out rather quickly so that they can be there for the children (think airline oxygen mask instructions). Infants and toddlers need immediate assistance while adapting to changes in care and nurturing. Preadolescents require empathy and the knowledge the parents will be there as they struggle with the emotional bombs of change. Teens will manipulate the guilt of the parents better than Machiavelli so provide empathy and understanding, but also remember the parent has feelings too. Even adults have issues that their splitting parents must not ignore. Other topics provide insight into the before during, after, and second marriages with a thorough index to further assist the reader. This is a well-written complete guidebook encouraging the divorcees that with integrity they can handle the grenades their resentful, often angry children and perhaps their former partner toss at them. Harriet Klausner