The Relationship Rescue Workbook: Exercises and Self-Tests to Help You Reconnect with Your Partner

The Relationship Rescue Workbook: Exercises and Self-Tests to Help You Reconnect with Your Partner

by Phillip C. McGraw


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The ideal companion book to the #1 New York Times bestseller

Ever since Relationship Rescue became an instant number one New York Times hardcover bestseller, Phil McGraws audiences have been asking for a workbook to help them apply his strategies for change to their relationships. Now, in The Relationship Rescue Workbook, Dr. Phil, Oprah's resident expert on human functioning, provides questions, exercises and self-tests that will enable couples in even the most troubled relationships to get their love lives back on track. And for those in solid relationships who would like to regain their spark, he reveals how to make that happen. He shows readers exactly how to pinpoint problems in their relationships, and how to make sure that the changes they enact will truly last. His straightforward, tell-it-like-it-is advice is made crystal clear in this easy-to-use workbook that is sure to prove immensely popular with his devoted national following.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780786886043
Publisher: Hachette Books
Publication date: 10/18/2000
Pages: 287
Sales rank: 79,410
Product dimensions: 7.20(w) x 9.10(h) x 0.80(d)
Age Range: 13 - 18 Years

About the Author

Dr. Phil McGraw is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters; Relationship Rescue: A Seven-Step Strategy for Reconnecting with Your Partner; Self Matters: Creating Your Life From the Inside Out; The Ultimate Weight Solution: The Seven Keys to Weight Loss Freedom, and his most recent book, Family First: Your Step-by-Step Plan for Creating a Phenomenal Family. He is also the author of the New York Times bestseller The Ultimate Weight Solution Coookbook: Recipes For Weight Loss Freedom as well as The Ultimate Weight Solution Food Guide. His books have been published in 37 languages with over 22 million copies in print. Dr. Phil has a B.S, M.A. and Ph.D. in clinical psychology from North Texas State University with a dual area of emphasis in clinical and behavioral medicine. He has been a board-certified and licensed clinical psychologist since 1978, and appears on his nationally syndicated daily one-hour series, Dr. Phil. He lives in Los Angeles with Robin, his wife of 28 years, and their two sons, Jay and Jordan.


Los Angeles, California

Date of Birth:


Place of Birth:



Attended University of Tulsa; B.A., Midwestern State; Ph.D. in psychology, University of North Texas, 1979

Table of Contents

prologue: get real---reconnecting with your core
The Best People
Ina Perfect World, Who Are You?
In Reality, What Are You Doing?
Negative Voices
What Do You Think All Day?
The Happiest Time of My Life
A Personal Vision
Act on It!

it's your time; it's your turn
Dr. Phil's Relationship Stress Test
What's Your Part?
What's the Payoff?
A Self-Analysis
Your Bag of Tricks
Test Your Readiness
Project Status

defining the problem
Personal Concepts Profile
Relationship Health Profile
General Relationship Problem Profile
Specific Relationship Problem Profile
The Relationship Behavior Profile: Your Partner
The Relationship Behavior Profile: You
Your Relationship Lifestyle Profile
Relationship Communication Test
Chemistry Test
The Five Tough Questions

blowing up the myths
Myth #1: A Meeting of the Minds
The "Natural"Fit
The "Adjusted"Fit
"Thanks for the Differences..."
Myth #2: A Great Romance
Falling in Love
Being in Love
Myth #3: Great Problem Solving
What Are We Fighting About?
I Think...I Feel
Myth #4: Common Interests that Bond You Together Forever
A Wish List
Reality Check
Myth #5: A Peaceful Relationship
The Rules of the Ring
Simmer, Spew, or Blow the Lid Off
Myth #6: The Complete Venting of Feelings
What's Your Style?
What's Your Partner's Style?
Myth #7: Nothing to Do with Sex
Just the Facts
Once Upon a Time
Chemical Reactions
Myth #8: You Cannot Survive a Flawed Partner
If I Were You...
Myth #9: A Right Way and a Wrong Way
The "Perfect Couple"
Myth #10: When You Get Your Partner Straightened Out
Mirror, Mirror

eliminating your bad spirit
Characteristic #1: You're a Scorekeeper
Characteristic #2: You're a Fault Finder
Characteristic #3: You Think It's Your Way or the Highway
Characteristic #4: You Turn into an Attack Dog
Characteristic #5: You Are a Passive Warmonger
Characteristic #6: You Resort to Smoke and Mirrors
Characteristic #7: You Will Not Forgive
Characteristic #8: You Are the Bottomless Pit
Characteristic #9: You're Too Comfortable
Characteristic #10: You've Given Up
Adding It Up

reclaiming your core---the personal relationship values
Personal Relationship Value #1: Own Your Relationship
"Whine Warning"
Personal Statement
Personal Relationship Value #2: Accept the Risk of Vulnerability
"I'm Afraid that..."
"What If...?"
"And Then I Would..."
Personal Relationship Value #3: Accept Your Partner
Inventory 1: My Top Ten Partner Gripes
Inventory 2: My Partner's Top Twenty Positives
The Whine Ratio
Personal Relationship Value #4: Focus on the Friendship
What I Want in a Friend
What I Am as a Friend
My Partner as a Friend
Personal Relationship Value #5: Promote Your Partner's Self-Esteem
The Honor Roll
Personal Relationship Value #6: Aim Your Frustrations in the Right Direction
Frustration Log
Personal Relationship Value #7: Be Up-Front and Forthright
"I Put up My Dukes when..."
"I'd Rather Cover Up Because..."
Personal Relationship Value #8: Make Yourself Happy Rather than Right
Your Righteousness Quotient
"Just Suppose..."
Personal Relationship Value #9: Allow Your Relationship to Transcend Turmoil
"Or Else!"
Personal Relationship Value #10: Put Motion into Your Emotion
Love Action
Action Assignment
Report Card
Personal Relationship Value Reminder

the formula for success
Are You Ready?
Write Your Own Definitions
Job #1: Make Your Needs Know

Customer Reviews

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Relationship Rescue Workbook 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 6 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
steven28 More than 1 year ago
One day these two crusaders will meet and sparks will fly.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Guest More than 1 year ago
When I first purchased the book, I thought it was so well written. I had recently had yet another huge fight with my boyfriend of three years. I loved that it focused on self improvement and analysis because it gave me some sense of control over a situation that I was feeling helpless in. I can't change my boyfriend, but I can change me. This book helped me zero in on the areas of myself that I need to improve. Although I thought that my progress in improving myself was going to change my relationship for the better, I am sad to say that I just broke up with my boyfriend. This may not be such a bad thing for myself. I am a believer that all things happen for the best. But, I honestly thought that this book was going to equip me with all I needed to improve my relationship. The book doesn't fix a relationship, it helps to fix yourself. It's a self-discovery process--not a miracle worker.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Guest More than 1 year ago
Relationship Rescue is the best book that I read in 2000. This workbook is a very helpful extension of that outstanding book, and one that I hope you will acquire, use, and share with others. Containing many of the same quizzes, assignments, and exercises as Relationship Rescue, the workbook will encourage you to write down your thoughts in more detail. There is also significant new material that will encourage you by deepening your commitment to change, and making it easier for you to change yourself . . . and through that, your relationship. I recently finished reading Frankenstein, which wonderfully explores the pain that lacking loving human companionship brings. The pain of losing what was once loving may be even worse. In Dr. Phil's own words, 'The two books are designed to be companions.' 'The hardcover book offers you the information and the tools you need . . . .' 'The workbook gives you a totally private place to complete a wide variety of exercises that are crucial to the process. Some of these exercises appear in the hardcover book, but many do not.' His promise to you is a significant one. 'Read the book and do the work, and you will reclaim the power to shape the life you live . . . . you will reconnect with your old best self.' While many workbooks claim to be coordinated with book they support, this one does an excellent job of connection. Each section begins with directions of how to use the hardcover book as an introduction to that part of the workbook. So you will need both. Like Relationship Rescue, this workbook deserves many more than five stars. Combined, the two are as close as you can get to having a hands-on guide for improving your relationships without having a trained counselor present. The combination is significantly better than just using either one alone. The workbook lacks the context, and the hardcover lacks all of the richness of these exercises. It's too bad that most people will take on this workbook because they have a bad or failing relationship. It would be much better to start with the approach in the book and workbook in the beginning. As I mentioned with regard to Relationship Rescue, I hope marriage advisors, parents, living together couples, and engaged people will become familiar with this workbook and recommend using both books together to others. Dr. Phil's approach is extremely direct. As in Relationship Rescue, he makes it clear that you have to first change yourself before you can change you relationship. Relationship Rescue by itself is extremely well structured for easy use both as a book and as a workbook. This workbook is even better structured for use, because of the many directions inside for how to integrate the two books. Like Relationship Rescue, it is divided into seven steps (define and diagnose where the relationship is now; get rid of your wrong thinking about relationships; find out what you are doing to hurt the relationships; internalize the values needed to build and maintain strong relationships; the necessary format for a strong relationship; and how to reconnect and manage the relationship). Each section is filled with diagnostic questions for you and your partner to use, as well as directions for implementing what you learn. I found that retaking some of the quizzes was very helpful to me in refocusing me on needed improvements, and encouraging me by letting me see how much change I had made since reading Relationship Rescue. The process involved is a good one. It begins with identifying stalled thinking, works on stallbusting that thinking, and then builds new habits that will work better. The steps are even more extensive than in Relationship Rescue, but you can take them in bite-sized amounts over a longer period of time. Before you are done, you will be sharing much of what you have done with your partner. I have to believe that anyone who was told that their partner had been working on these questions and exercis