My Name Is Chloe (Diary of a Teenage Girl Series: Cloe #1)

My Name Is Chloe (Diary of a Teenage Girl Series: Cloe #1)

by Melody Carlson, Andy Stanley

Paperback(Chloe Book No. 1)

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Chloe, Josh Miller's younger sister, is a free spirit with funky clothes and dramatic hair. She struggles with her own identity, classmates, parents, boys, and — her biggest question — whether or not God is for real. But this unconventional high school freshman definitely doesn't hold back when she meets Him in a big, personal way. Refusing to change her image to fit into the "stereotypical Christian preppy mold," Chloe expresses God's love and grace through the girl band she forms, Redemption. In her development as a musician and performer, tender-hearted Chloe will learn tough lessons about following God, her heart, and her dreams.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781590520185
Publisher: The Crown Publishing Group
Publication date: 01/02/2003
Series: Diary of a Teenage Girl Series
Edition description: Chloe Book No. 1
Pages: 288
Sales rank: 789,671
Product dimensions: 5.18(w) x 8.24(h) x 0.69(d)
Age Range: 12 - 17 Years

About the Author

Melody Carlson is the bestselling author of more than seventy books for teens, women, and children with total sales over 1 million. She has two grown sons and enjoys an active lifestyle of hiking, skiing, and biking. She lives in the beautiful Oregon Cascade Mountains with her husband and Labrador retriever.

Read an Excerpt

Chapter One
Monday, September 2
I don’t hate my life anymore. At least not today. I guess I consider myself a recovering pessimist. Or at least I’m trying. I used to be completely negative and cynical about everyone and everything, but I found that made it difficult to breathe. So now I’m trying to be more of a realist. That way I can be negative when I choose to, but there’s still a little room for hope.
Some people think I am dark. I suppose they’re a little frightened by me. By my appearance, or my opinions, or the way I look them straight in the eye without blinking or turning away, or even my music, which can be, I suppose, unsettling. Although I doubt they’d ever admit to such fears. Because no one likes to fess up to being scared.
But I’ll admit to it—at least within the privacy of my own journal. I seriously doubt that I’ll go take out an ad in the Daily Times and go public with this news. Like anyone would care.
But it’s true: I am scared. And sometimes I scare myself. Okay, I’m not talking about when I look in the mirror, although that can be a little frightening, especially on those mornings when I have flattened down bed head and my eyelashes are stuck together with that gluck that gathers in your eyes while you’re asleep. But for the most part it’s not my appearance that scares me. Although I’m sure I seem frightening to some people—narrow-minded people who want everyone to look the same—like cookie-cutter characters where everyone has a happy face stamped right into their heads.
I’ve seen people stare at my hair (I cut it myself— all jaggedy so it can stick out in all sorts of interesting shapes, and I like putting colors on it, such as magenta and lime and purple), and I’ve seen some people stare at my multiple-pierced ears and belly button and wince or just back away. As if this is something unusual. And I suppose I derive some weird sense of satisfaction from their response. Like, see “I told you so.” Does that make sense?
My friend Caitlin O’Conner (about the straightest chick I know) says I use my appearance to keep people from getting too close to me. And maybe she’s right, although I’ve never admitted this to anyone before, except her and then only briefly. But I do sort of enjoy keeping up an exterior that turns some people off—or even frightens them. I figure if they’re so shallow that they’re threatened by my appearance, well, then who wants to know them anyway?
Besides, if you don’t let people get close to you, you lessen your chances of getting hurt by them. Right? And that’s something I could sure live without. Not that I’m afraid of pain, because I’m not. Believe me, I’m not! I just don’t go around inviting it to come over to visit me on a regular basis.
I guess that’s one thing that scares me though—the way I keep shoving people away from me. It’s as if it’s become this habit that’s getting harder and harder to break. In fact, I’ve gotten uncomfortably comfortable with my isolation. Well, for the most part. I mean, no one really wants to be alone all the time. Do they? But somehow Caitlin just pushed her way past all my barbed-wire barriers and brick walls and actually became my friend. Well, sort of. Actually, I still wonder if she reached out to me because my brother Josh told her I was such a pathetic mess. She probably felt sorry for me too, because she’s that kind of person—overly caring and sympathetic—something she needs to be careful of, I think. Too much empathy can get you into trouble.
But besides Josh’s involvement, I suspect Caitlin (a Christian who takes her faith real seriously) probably had great hopes of converting me, not that I’ve ever done anything to encourage her. But that’s all history now because Caitlin has just gone off to college. And I’m sure she’ll forget all about me before long, if she hasn’t already. I guess it just proves my point about not getting too close to people. Because in the long run, whether they mean to or not, they’ll eventually hurt you or leave. That’s what I’ve found to be true anyway.
But here’s another thing that scares me about myself: It’s the way I question just about everything. My parents call me rebellious and headstrong. My teachers say I have an attitude problem. Caitlin just says I’m searching. And in some ways I think she’s closer to the truth than the rest of them. But for whatever reason, it seems as though nothing ever comes easily for me.
I’m not like Josh, the golden boy, who just seems to coast through life on his wave of charm, good looks, and general popularity. I’m probably more like my older brother Caleb, although since he left home while I was in grade school, it seems I barely knew him. But his life has been pretty messy too. Actually he’s done a much worse job of it than I have (so far). I realize that could change for me any day now. And according to my parents it will.
They’re predicting that I’ll seriously blow it in my first year of high school. They could be right. I just might blow it—or blow up. I might explode into millions of tiny pieces and fly throughout the universe. Or maybe I’ll try to prove them wrong. I’m still not sure which way this thing will go.
Caitlin thinks I’m going to do “something wonderful with my life.” Ha! But then she’s like that—the perennial Pollyanna of the new millennium. And I’ll admit I liked that book as a child, back when I thought everything always ended up “happily ever after.” I just don’t believe that anymore. And I don’t mean to slam her exactly, but I do think she’s a little too idealistic. I mean, what could I possibly do that would ever be described as “wonderful”? I don’t even like that word! Like I said, I’m trying to lean more toward realism, even if it does get me down sometimes.
And I suppose that’s why I question God a lot. But that’s only on the days when I still believe in him. Because a lot of times I don’t. A lot of times I wonder about things like religious wars and starvation and child slavery and just general greed and cruelty—and I find it hard to believe that God would allow such chaos.
But Caitlin says it’s okay to question God. She says, “He can handle it.” And she positively assured me that no matter what questions I ask, God has all the answers. But she also said that I might not always like all his answers. But what probably frightens me the most is the very likely possibility that he won’t answer at all—the possibility that he’s not even there—and that we’re all alone on this rapidly spinning ball called earth going nowhere fast. And for some reason that scares me more than anything. But I’d never admit this to anyone. In a way it seems pretty childish to see it written down. It’s as if I try to act all grown up and mature and, I suppose, even tough, but inside I’m just a frightened little kid. Pretty scary, huh?
There we have it. I have just confessed my biggest fears, but I have some smaller ones too. They may seem minor compared to what I’ve just written above, but unfortunately they don’t feel minor right now. I’ll tell you what my most current pressing fear is: School starts tomorrow.
It’s my first year in high school, and I don’t even have one single friend to walk onto campus with. Oh, sure, it’s my own fault since I no longer act, talk, or dress like my old friends. But were they really my friends? Would real friends shun me so easily? I think Jessie and I might’ve eventually become friends again, but then she moved last spring.
But to think I lost all this on account of a moronic boyfriend who stabbed me in the back because I wouldn’t give in to him? How stupid is that? Maybe it was one of those Freudian things, like I really wanted to blow my life into smithereens on purpose. Or not. The fact is, I now have to face entering high school as a solo act. And that freaks me out.
Pitiful, isn’t it? Oh, I keep telling myself that I’ll just act exceptionally hard and aloof, dressed in my tough chick threads (which have sent my mom to her room with a headache again), and I’ll march right in there and take nothing from nobody. But despite my plan, I still feel pretty worried. And a small part of me wishes I’d listened to my mom and gotten some of those more “mainstream” kinds of clothes and tried to make what she calls a “fresh start.”
I suppose this is where my rebelliousness comes into play. I just could NOT do it. I could NOT give in to my mom. I think it’s because I actually like how I look. It’s kind of creative, you know, like an alternative rock star. And so far I only have seven piercings, and I think I’ll keep it at that since seven is a perfect number. And I don’t even have a tattoo (although I’ve been tempted a time or two and am still considering trying a henna one). You’d think that alone would make my mom happy.
And I like how my hair looks all spiky and wild and colorful. Really, I think I look pretty cool. And since I AM a serious and aspiring musician, I think this image works for me. Of course, no one (well, except for Caitlin) really knows how committed I am to my music. Maybe I’ll get more out there with it this year. Maybe I’ll see if I can play at the new coffeehouse that just came to town. Who knows? I could even become famous someday. It happens.
I’ve heard of fifteen-year-olds who’ve hit it big. Besides, everyone thinks I’m old for my age, plus I’m old in my class since my parents started me to school a year late due to a silly childhood illness that didn’t seem like such a big deal at the time, to me anyway. Even my grandmother says I have the soul of an old woman, although I don’t think she necessarily thinks that’s a good thing. But maybe that’s why I’ve always related better to older people. The kids in my own grade feel too immature for me, and yet I still feel like a little kid sometimes too.
Caitlin encouraged me to journal down my thoughts. She said it’s a good way to get in touch with my feelings, although I feel pretty in touch already—sometimes too much so. She also said I should write down prayers. I tried not to laugh when she said that, but I’m thinking: What prayers? I mean, I don’t ever pray. I don’t even want to pray. And why is that? I say I still believe in God. Well, sometimes anyway. So why wouldn’t I want to try praying to him?
I guess it’s because I’m worried that, if he really does exist, he’ll want to change me. And I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet. Even though I’m unhappy and mixed up and feeling a little frightened, I’m still not sure I want to change. So instead of a prayer, I guess I’ll just write down a poem. Because I’m not only a musician, I’m also a poet. And I am me! Chloe.
what if all there is is me?
what if i am all i see?
what if life is only this?
and ignorance is bliss?
what if love is only pain?
and nothing can be gained by living every day and there is no better way?
what then?

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My Name Is Chloe (Diary of a Teenage Girl Series: Cloe #1) 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 39 reviews.
ajramsden on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This was my first Christian fiction read, so I¿m reviewing this title as an outsider of the genre. My Name is Chloe is the first title in a series of books featuring a character named Chloe Miller who starts off as an outsider at her school with her colored hair and punk style clothing, but then accepts Christ into her life and makes two new friends who join her to form a Christian rock group.Overall, I was disappointed with this title as I had thought it might be different or less preachy as some reviews had claimed. The message of Christianity begins early in the book, within the first few pages, before I felt the reader even has a sense of who Chloe is as a character. The story is told in diary format, which some teens may enjoy for its voyeuristic approach, but not enough detail goes into the Chloe¿s daily life, the people who are in it, or getting to know Chloe before her big change. More time is spent laying the groundwork for her conversion, which happens rather suddenly without any visible motivation, other than the purpose of moving the plot forward. The conflicts are minor and the character changes are not very honest or realistic, in my opinion. Many characters come across as stock and stereotypical and a subplot to convert Chloe¿s friend Allie, who¿s into Wicca, is painfully transparent. I would have been more interested if Chloe had made friends who were of differing beliefs and the story had perhaps focused on the difficulties and rewards of having friends of different faiths, but the goal of this book is obviously not geared toward that. It may have even helped if something dramatic or life changing had taken place to shake Chloe¿s life up and make her evaluate her beliefs, this might have made the story more real. Pretty much a thin vehicle for a message, some Christian teens seem to enjoy this series as well as other Carson titles, but I would advise non-Christians or those interested in a more compelling plot to skip this one.
Razorgirl on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
A fifteen year old starts a band and hopes to hit it big. Typical, right? Well, not really. Chloe Miller is angry at the world and doesn't try to hide it. She fights with her parents and thinks of them as hypocrites. Basically a social outcast, Chloe makes friends with two girls, one a Christian and the other a Wiccan. She doesn't know where to turn, especially when a girl at school begins to torment her. This book was beatifully written from a unique point of view. If you are into music and rebel stuff, this is good for you. Some have complained that it's not as good as the first books about Caitlen O'Connor, but I found at least as good or even better. Once again, a must read from Melody Carlson that is both relevant and touching.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Beforebu read these books about chloe, i would sudjest reading "diary of a teenage girl: caitlyn O'Conner" it shows a great story and also shows you a little about chloe and how you see how she changes butbib caiitlyns percpective
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I love the love storie books and i rhink this book is very interesting and when i started reading it at first i thought it was so you know awesome and fun cause it was putting in suspense and everything so if you have not read this book yet you should cause its a great book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I didnt read this yet
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I do like this book but they could have added more detal but i still gets 5 stars
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Chloe is an exceptional character. She is searching for God in a serious way but doesnt hav the love or support from her parents she needs. Her friends hav pretty much lleft her and 2 unlikely ones come along and she leads them both to Christ and starts a band. THe next book is even better!!!!!!!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Scoll98 More than 1 year ago
I thought this book was ok. I usually like all of melodys wotk but this one pretty muuch just bored me.......soorry
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Jasmine Noble More than 1 year ago
Loved this book!!!! the whole series is great!!!
Desire- More than 1 year ago
I would have to say that this is book is pretty much like everyday life if you think about it. This girl named Chloe is a very confident girl, but doesn't show it. She hides her true self. When she opens up to the world she found the only master she needs "god." When I read this book I felt as if I was in Chloe's shoes. I can picture and imagine all the thoughts she has, and the things that happen to her. I am a person who doesn't like to read, but when I started reading that book I didn't want to let it down. Good thing this book is in a series. I think the people that play a role in this book are alive. I see them as hard, caring, loving, trying people, especially Chloe. I think that's how people should be not all down and depressed. Well one day Chloe was that person, but one day a shocker of a lifetime came to her. She found god! Chloe is a good person, even after what people have said or done to her. She says a lot "take the chance you have you'll be lucky." Also when people try to put her aside and goes on she gained love, and power in her life. This book is filled with adventures. No, Chloe doesn't hang with the best people, but she does it to help them out. Chloe is the kind of person who knows, and hangs with wrong people, but doesn't do the things they do. Chloe has her own band. Well you're probably thinking by now what the world is going on in this book? Well to tell you the truth this book is lovely if you love adventure, and mystery this book is for you. Don't let it down you will love it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Seriously, I thought the book would be a nice read, but once I got started on it, it was like I was reading thoughts out of my own head. I thought "Wow, someone wrote a book on my life!" Her thoughts are very real, and similar to ones teens have today. Fear of being all alone out in the universe, or your mistakes, and your curiosity in things unseen. Its very real, and a great story to give you hope, or that warms your heart. I can't wait to read the other three sequils.
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Ruth1 More than 1 year ago
The book Dairy of a Teenage Girl: My Name is Chloe by Melody Carlson is a very good insight to a troubled teen's life. It was published by Multnomah Books in Colorado Springs, CO in 2002. My Name is Chloe shows you the life of a teen girl who is confused and troubled until she finds God and lets him into her heart and things start turning around. The young teen girl, Chloe Miller, is going through a rough time being different than everyone else and a freshman in high school. She has questions and doubts and is confused on who she is or what she believes. After an unusual encounter with God, Chloe's life starts to change for the better and she sets out on a spiritual mission. Along the way she meets two friends, Allie and Laura, who all form a band called Redemption and there lives together take off. Come along for the ride of Chloe's life! This is just as good as the Caitlin O'Conner series, if you have read them. My Name is Chloe gives insight, hope, and an interesting ride with a teen who finds herself and friends. This is a very good page-turner and the series should be interesting. You never know what will happen with God on your side.
Guest More than 1 year ago
The book, Diary of a Teenage Girl: My name is Chloe, by Melody Carlson, definitely deserves five stars! The book is about your not-so-average teenage girl named Chloe. Chloe has no friends, a family that doesn't understand her, is totally different then everyone else, and is gothic. Just when everything seems hopeless for Chloe, she makes two good friends that will change her life forever. With Allie believing in Wicca 'a program that deals with witchcraft' and Laura being a Christian, they have an adventure of a lifetime while trying to discover who they really are. Not long after they become friends, Chloe makes a decision that will change her life for the better. This book was absolutely fantastic and there was not a single flaw I could find in it. In the very beginning of the book, I had nothing what so ever in common with Chloe. I liked how I got to experience some one who was the total opposite of me. I really liked how the book was written as a diary with Chloe writing in it because it showed how she really felt and what was going on around her while most teens don't express that in real life. I also liked how she, along with the help of God, her friends, and believing in herself, found who she was and where she belonged. I, myself, find this to be very true. Without the help of all of those, tasks can be hard, if not impossible, to accomplish. This book is a part of a series. It is the first book in the Chloe branch of the series. This book reminds me of the movie Rudolph. Even though this movie is for children, it has the same overall idea and message. Rudolph, at first, is not accepted for who he is and throughout the whole movie is trying to find where he belongs. At the end of the movie though, while being true to himself, finds who he really is. If you enjoyed this book, you will love books by Lurlene McDaniel because her books also have to do with real people with real problems. If you are a girl anywhere between the ages of twelve to eighteen and like books about real life situations, then this book is for you! This book teaches many lessons about being true to yourself, knowing who your real friends are, and never giving up in yourself.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book was great.I really enjoyed it.It is about a girl whose name is Chloe Miller,and has lots of questions about God and why he does certain things.Then she goes to a graveyard and there and therefore she builds her relationship with Christ and starts going to church with her brother and his friend Caitlan.Thank you Ms.Carlson for writing this incredible book.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book was truly incredible. I have never seen so much of myself in a novel's protagonist as I did with Chloe in this book. I'm sure many, many other teenagers could relate to how Chloe felt torn as well. It wouldn't even have to be a teenager, really. Anyone can experience the feeling of being lost, not knowing what to believe. Anyhow, the book was great. It'll always be one of my favorites. It's definently worth your while to read.