The Last Dragonslayer (The Chronicles of Kazam Series #1)

The Last Dragonslayer (The Chronicles of Kazam Series #1)

by Jasper Fforde

Paperback

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Overview

In the good old days, magic was indispensable. But now magic is fading: Drain cleaner is cheaper than a spell, and magic carpets are used for pizza delivery. Fifteen-year-old Jennifer Strange runs Kazam, an employment agency for magicians—but it’s hard to stay in business when magic is drying up. And then the visions start, predicting the death of the world’s last dragon at the hands of an unnamed Dragonslayer. If the visions are true, everything will change for Kazam—and for Jennifer.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781444707212
Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton, Ltd.
Publication date: 09/28/2011
Series: Chronicles of Kazam Series , #1
Age Range: 10 - 14 Years

About the Author



Jasper Fforde is the internationally best-selling author of the Chronicles of Kazam, the Thursday Next mysteries, and the Nursery Crime books. He lives in Wales. Visit his website at www.jasperfforde.com.

Hometown:

Brecon, Powys, Wales, United Kingdom

Date of Birth:

January 11, 1961

Place of Birth:

London, United Kingdom

Education:

Left school at 18

Read an Excerpt

ONE

Practical Magic

It looked set to become even hotter by the afternoon, just when the job was becoming more fiddly and needed extra concentration. But the fair weather brought at least one advantage: dry air makes magic work better and fly farther. Moisture has a moderating effect on the mystical arts. No sorcerer worth their sparkle ever did productive work in the rain—which probably accounts for why getting showers to start was once considered easy, but getting them to stop was nearly impossible.

We hadn’t been able to afford a company car for years, so the three sorcerers, the beast, and I were packed into my rust-and-orange-but-mostly-rust Volkswagen for the short journey from Hereford to Dinmore. Lady Mawgon had insisted on sitting in the passenger seat because "that’s how it will be," which meant that Wizard Moobin and the well-proportioned Full Price were in the back seat, with the Quarkbeast sitting between the two of them and panting in the heat. I was driving, which might have been unusual anywhere but here in the Kingdom of Hereford, which was unique in the Ununited Kingdoms for having driving tests based on maturity, not age. That explained why I’d had a license since I was thirteen, while some were still failing to make the grade at forty. It was lucky I could. Sorcerers are easily distracted, and letting them drive is about as safe as waving around a chain saw at full throttle in a crowded nightclub.

We had lots to talk about—the job we were driving to, the weather, experimental spells, King Snodd’s sometimes eccentric ways. But we didn’t. Price, Moobin, and Mawgon, despite being our best sorcerers, didn’t really get along. It wasn’t anything personal; sorcerers are just like that—temperamental, and apt to break out into petulant posturing that takes time and energy to smooth over. My job of running Kazam Mystical Arts Management was less about spells and enchantments, diplomacy and bureaucracy, than about babysitting. Working with those versed in the Mystical Arts was sometimes like trying to knit with wet spaghetti: just when you thought you’d gotten somewhere, it all came to pieces in your hands. But I didn’t really mind. Were they frustrating? Frequently. Were they boring? Never.

"I do wish you wouldn’t do that," said Lady Mawgon in an aggrieved tone as she shot a disapproving glance at Full Price. He was changing from a human to a walrus and then back again in slow, measured transformations. The Quarkbeast was staring at him strangely, and with each transformation there wafted an unpleasant smell of fish around the small car. It was good the windows were open. To Lady Mawgon, who in better days had once been sorceress to royalty, transforming within potential view of the public was the mark of the hopelessly ill-bred.

"Groof, groof," said Full Price, trying to speak while a walrus, which is never satisfactory. "I’m just tuning up," he added in an indignant fashion, once de-walrussed or re-humaned, depending on which way you looked at it. "Don’t tell me you don’t need to."

Wizard Moobin and I looked at Lady Mawgon, eager to know how she was tuning up. Moobin had prepared for the job by tinkering with the print of the Hereford Daily Eyestrain. He had filled in the crossword in the twenty minutes since we’d left Kazam. Not unusual in itself, since the Eyestrain’s crossword is seldom hard, except that he had used printed letters from elsewhere on the page and dragged them across using the power of his mind alone. The crossword was now complete and more or less correct—but it left an article on Queen Mimosa’s patronage of the Troll War Widows Fund looking a little disjointed.

"I am not required to answer your question," replied Lady Mawgon haughtily, "and what’s more, I detest the term tuning up. It’s quazafucating and always has been."

"Using the old language makes us sound archaic and out of touch," replied Price.

"It makes us sound as we are meant to be," replied Lady Mawgon, "of a noble calling."

Of a once noble calling, thought Moobin, inadvertently broadcasting his subconscious on an alpha so low, even I could sense it.

Lady Mawgon swiveled in her seat to glare at him. "Keep your thoughts to yourself, young man."

Moobin thought something to her but in high alpha, so only she could hear it. I don’t know what he thought, but Lady Mawgon said, "Well!" and stared out the side window in an aggrieved fashion.

I sighed. This was my life.

 

Of the forty-five sorcerers, movers, soothsayers, shifters, weather-mongers, carpeteers, and other assorted mystical artisans at Kazam, most were fully retired due to infirmity, insanity, or damage to the vital index fingers, either through accident or rheumatoid arthritis. Of these forty-five, thirteen were potentially capable of working, but only nine had current licenses—two carpeteers, a pair of pre-cogs, and most important, five sorcerers legally empowered to carry out Acts of Enchantment. Lady Mawgon was certainly the crabbiest and probably the most skilled. As with everyone else at Kazam, her powers had faded dramatically over the past three decades or so, but unlike everyone else, she’d not really come to terms with it. In her defense, she’d had farther to fall than the rest of them, but this wasn’t really an excuse. The Sisters Karamazov could also claim once-royal patronage, and they were nice as apricot pie. Mad as a knapsack of onions, but pleasant nonetheless.

I might have felt sorrier for Mawgon if she weren’t so difficult all the time. Her intimidating manner made me feel small and ill at ease, and she rarely if ever missed an opportunity to put me in my place. Since Mr. Zambini’s disappearance, she’d gotten worse, not better.

"Quark," said the Quarkbeast.

"Did we really have to bring the beast?" Full Price asked me.

"It jumped in the car when I opened the door."

The Quarkbeast yawned, revealing several rows of razor-sharp fangs. Despite his placid nature, the beast’s ferocious appearance almost guaranteed that no one ever completely shrugged off the possibility that he might try to take a chunk out of them when they weren’t looking. If the Quarkbeast was aware of this, it didn’t show. Indeed, he might have been so unaware that he wondered why people always ran away screaming.

"I would be failing in my duty as acting manager of Kazam," I said, in an attempt to direct the sorcerers away from grumpiness and more in the direction of teamwork, "if I didn’t mention how important this job is. Mr. Zambini always said that Kazam needed to adapt to survive, and if we get this right, we could possibly tap a lucrative market that we badly need."

"Humph!" said Lady Mawgon.

"We all need to be in tune and ready to hit the ground running," I added. "I told Mr. Digby we’d all be finished by six this evening."

They didn’t argue. I think they knew the score well enough. In silent answer, Lady Mawgon snapped her fingers, and the Volkswagen’s gearbox, which up until that moment had been making an expensive-sounding rumbling noise, suddenly fell silent. If Mawgon could replace gearbox bushings while the engine was running, she was tuned enough for all of them.

 

I knocked on the door of a red-brick house at the edge of the village, and a middle-aged man with a ruddy face answered.

"Mr. Digby? My name is Jennifer Strange of Kazam, acting manager for Mr. Zambini. We spoke on the phone."

He looked me up and down. "You seem a bit young to be running an agency."

"I’m sixteen," I said in a friendly manner.

"Sixteen?"

"In two weeks I’ll be sixteen, yes."

"Then you’re actually fifteen?"

I thought for a moment."I’m in my sixteenth year."

Mr. Digby narrowed his eyes."Then shouldn’t you be in school or something?"

"Indentured servitude," I answered as brightly as I could, trying to sidestep the contempt that most free citizens have for people like me. As a foundling, I had been brought up by the Sisterhood, who’d sold me to Kazam four years before. I still had two years of unpaid work before I could even think of applying for the first level that would one day lead me, fourteen tiers of paperwork and bureaucracy later, to freedom.

"Indentured or not," replied Mr. Digby, "where’s Mr. Zambini?"

"He’s indisposed at present," I replied, attempting to sound as mature as I could. "I have temporarily assumed his responsibilities."

"‘Temporarily assumed his responsibilities’?" Mr. Digby repeated. He looked at the three sorcerers, who stood waiting at the car. "Why her and not one of you?"

"Bureaucracy is for little people," retorted Lady Mawgon in an imperious tone.

"I am too busy, and paperwork exacerbates my receding hair issues," said Full Price.

"We have complete confidence in Jennifer," added Wizard Moobin, who appreciated what I did perhaps more than most. "Foundlings mature quickly. May we get started?"

"Very well," replied Mr. Digby, after a long pause in which he looked at us all in turn with a should I cancel? sort of look. But he didn’t, and eventually went and fetched his hat and coat. "But we agreed you’d be finished by six, yes?"

I said that this was so, and he handed me his house keys. After taking a wide berth to avoid the Quarkbeast, he climbed into his car and drove away. It’s not a good idea to have civilians around when sorcery is afoot. Even the stoutest incantations carry redundant strands of spell that can cause havoc if allowed to settle on the general public. Nothing serious ever happened; it was mostly rapid nose hair growth, oinking like a pig, blue pee, that sort of stuff. It soon wore off, but it was bad for business.

"Right," I said to the sorcerers. "Over to you."

They looked at each other, then at the ordinary suburban house.

"I used to conjure up storms," said Lady Mawgon with a sigh.

"So could we all," replied Wizard Moobin.

"Quark," said the Quarkbeast.

None of the sorcerers had rewired a house by spell before, but by reconfiguring the root directory on the core spell language of ARAMAIC, it could be done with relative ease—as long as the three of them pooled their resources. It had been Mr. Zambini’s idea to move Kazam into the home improvement market. Charming moles out of gardens, resizing stuff for the self-storage industry, and finding lost things was easy work, but it didn’t pay well. Using magic to rewire a house, however, was quite different. Unlike electricians, we didn’t need to touch the house in order to do it. No mess, no problems, and all finished in under a day.

I stood by my Volkswagen to be near the car radiophone, the most reliable form of mobile communication we had these days. Any calls to the Kazam office would ring here. I wasn’t just Kazam’s manager; I was also the receptionist, booking clerk, and taxi service. I had to look after the forty-five sorcerers, deal with the shabby building that housed us all, and fill out the numerous forms that the Magical Powers (amended 1966) Act required when even the tiniest spell was undertaken. I did all this because (1) the Great Zambini couldn’t because he was missing, (2) I’d been part of Kazam since I was twelve and knew the Mystical Arts Management business inside out, and (3) no one else wanted to.

What People are Saying About This

"Fforde's forady into children's books will delight readers who like their fantasy with a dash of silliness."—Publishers Weekly, starred review  

"Fantasy readers with a taste for the silly should appreciate the subverted tropes."—Kirkus

 "Thoroughly entertaining . . . readers will easily sit back and enjoy the fun."—Booklist

"Fforde's fantasy is smart, funny, and abundantly imaginative in its critique of commercial culture."—Horn Book

Customer Reviews

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The Last Dragonslayer 4.1 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 39 reviews.
BuriedUnderBooks More than 1 year ago
Jennifer Strange, who will be 16 years old in two weeks, is an indentured servant till 18 and, as such, runs Kazam Mystical Arts Management. Jennifer has a knack for handling fractious practitioners of magic and is always accompanied by a loveable critter, Quarkbeast. Quark is 1/10 Labrador and 9/10 velociraptor and kitchen blender and absolutely adores Jennifer for taking him home when she found him at Starbucks. Then, one day, Jennifer meets a fellow named Brian Spalding who lives at the Dragonstation and drives an armored Rolls-Royce he calls the Slayermobile. Brian is the outgoing dragonslayer and he is intent upon making Jennifer his apprentice. Apprentice for what? Well, it seems an old dragon, Maltcassion, lives in a sanctuary/wilderness known as the Dragonlands and he is supposed to die next Sunday at noon at the hands of a Dragonslayer wielding a sword named Exhorbitus. Unfortunately, Brian disappears rather precipitously before Jennifer feels quite prepared so she hires her own apprentice Dragonslayer, Gordon van Gordon Gordonson ap Gordon-Gordon of Gordon. So why does Maltcassion have to die next Sunday at noon? Come to find out there have been three Dragonattacks and that voids the Dragonpact that has protected him. One minor detail—by ancient decree, a dragon’s land belongs to whoever claims it when he dies and that brings out the worst of greed in an awful lot of people. In this world, commerce is mightier than kings and celebrities and The Consolidated Useful Stuff Land Development Corporation is ready to take advantage of the decree. Jasper Fforde is one of my favorite authors and I so wanted to love this book but I just can’t quite say that I do. There’s not much joy in this story even though there is a lot of humor. Heavyhanded agendas like greed, environmentalism, trashy media and product endorsements got in the way of the pure enjoyment I usually get when reading a Fforde tale and I also felt there were far too many characters, making it difficult to care a lot about most of them. Have I been permanently turned off? Of course not—the author may not have been at the top of his game with this one, his first young adult novel, but it’s just as possible that I read it in the wrong mood. The second in the series, The Song of the Quarkbeast, is already out in the UK so it should be showing up here in the US next fall and I’ll definitely be reading it.
Whymsy More than 1 year ago
Delightfully Absurd and Absurdly Delightful! This book wasn’t my favorite by Fforde – that glorious honor goes to the Well of Lost Plots and the estimable character Miss Havisham. While not quite the crown jewel of his body of work it is still better than 78.6% of the best other authors have to offer and thus quite good. I quickly fell under the spell of this book. On the surface the story is fun and light and absurd, but as with all of Fforde’s writing there are layers. He builds a very rich and detailed world in the Ununited Kingdoms, creating an interesting well-constructed mythology, along with the creation of a quirky mundane world. Other reviewers have said this is one of his more accessible books and I have to agree. While I adore his writing, I have to concede- though it makes me a little ill to do so- it isn’t for everyone, but The Lastdragon Slayer does have a more universal appeal, while not losing its Ffordeness. So I say give it a try and let loose your own inner Ffordeness.
six_feet_underwater More than 1 year ago
Quark! Firstly I will admit to buying this book because A) I like dragons and B) the cover art was just fantastic. I absolutely adored this book from beginning to end. It's a quirky, whimsical and exceptionally silly. I could not put it down. I'm highly anticipating the sequel. This book was the perfect thing to read to break up the dark and heavy themes of the books I've been reading.
ethel55 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Jennifer Strange, sixth in a line of foundlings to come to the Kazam Agency for sorcerers and other magical types, has been running the show ever since the mysterious disappearance of Mr. Zambini. The mystical arts have been in a downturn, both in power and jobs. When a pre-cog reports a vision of the death of the last dragon, ripples in magic start to occur. As the Ununited Kingdom starts to salivate at the economic possibilites of the dragonless Dragonlands, Jenny finds herself in yet another new role. There are new animals called Quarkbeasts, tattered flying carpets and menial electrical jobs for wizards in the new series by Fforde. He has created another world where I want to spend a lot more time.
Gwendydd on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Yet another fun, and very Ffordian, adventure. This book has a more straightforward plot structure than most of Jasper Fforde's books, but it's still an unpredictable, fast-paced roller coaster. Jennifer Strange is a teenage foundling who manages an institution of wizards. The wizards are all pretty crazy, and need Jennifer's organizational skills to keep their business running. Business isn't going so well, though, because magical power is waning, and these days the magicians do little more than rewire houses and other mundane tasks. However, one day the wizards notice a surge in wizidrical power, and many people start having premonitions that Maltcassion, the last dragon, is about to die. Maltcassion lives on protected land, and upon his death people want to claim all of his lands: individuals, corporations, and kings brace themselves for a massive land-grab.Of course, with any Jasper Fforde plot, it's hard to actually explain what's going on. Only Fforde can really do that.The book is funny, suspenseful, and exciting, and the alternate reality Fforde has created is ridiculous yet believable. There is also some biting satire of megacorps and greed. Highly enjoyable!
riverwillow on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I really enjoyed this young adult book from Jasper Fforde. It has all the Fford's trademarks, an alternative universe - the Ununited Kingdoms this time - where magic is so diluted that wizards rewire houses - characters with silly names, Tiger Prawns and Half-Price and, most excitingly for this reader there is a perpetual tea-pot. As this is for young adults the universe is not as darkly dystopian as Fforde's other novels, but he still gets in some digs at the media, greedy companies and rulers. It's a fast, entertaining and fun read and there's a Quarkbeast. What more could you ask?
flissp on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Jenny Strange is a foundling, working out her indenture at Kazam Mystical Arts Management in Hereford. With the decline, worldwide, in magical potency, the business has hit hard times - former Sorcerers to Royalty are reduced to installing fuss & damage free new plumbing and wiring; flying carpets to delivering pizza.But Big Magic is on the way and it seems to coincide with the prediction of the death of the Last Dragon at the hands of the Last Dragonslayer.This is Jasper Fforde's first children's book, but really, I would say that this is only because the main protagonist is not yet 16.The unUnited Kingdom in which the book is set, while not exactly the same, is very recognisable from his previous series - particularly Thursday Next. Set in an altered version of the UK, in this case made up of small kingdoms, in which the big corporations have controlling interests in every little thing. His novels are always exuberantly fast paced and imaginative, full of tiny silly quips. This is no different, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a point to make. It's interesting that he's returned to a female viewpoint too, told in the first person and convincingly - plenty of people do very badly when writing as the opposite sex.A very enjoyable read. I've never been carried away by the Nursery Rhyme books for some reason and, while I loved The Eyre Affaire, I think it's time for him to leave Thursday Next alone too - the more recent books just don't live up to the first. But both Shades of Grey and The Last Dragonslayer have felt like a return to form - I'm looking forward to sequels for both (if not for ages)...
reading_fox on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
A bit below average from Jasper really. Definetly aimed more at a younger audience I think. There isn't any of the social commentary that makes his other books so funny. This is also a much more streamlined plot, that doesn't really suit his sense of humour. In tone it is close to the Thursday next books, but much more fantasy based than TN was. Jennifer Strange is an orphan serving out her indentitude to a magical School in Hereford. One of the last in the country, the fading powers of magicians and witches are deeply bemoaned by the practitioners, and Jennifer's job is to help pay the bills by scheduling their modern day activities - finding lost items, rewiring houses and the like. Between Hereford and Brecon lie the Dragonlands - excluded territory set aside for a dragon (the Last) to roam free, without causing harm to people. A very contrived destiny plot and some tedious exposition see Jenny on her way to put an end to this menace for once and all. This will help the good people of Hereford (and the King, and the local corporation - whos name Stuff is very TN), by providing them with some more lviing space. Jenny doesn't want to do sucha cruel thing, and finds the local pressure can be applied. A very duex et machina ending is contrived to prepare the way for the sequel.Just didn't work for me.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The Last Dragonslayer, by Jasper Fforde, is a book about Jennifer Strange the 6th Foundling who’s been working as an intern at Zambini Towers under the Great Zambini who went missing a while back. She meets the 7th foundling, a boy named Tiger Prawn. Jennifer embarks on an adventure to solve the mysterious question, ”What is the role of a dragonslayer?” The book is of the fantasy genre and has some similarities to “Harry Potter” in the way that they use magic, but the magic is a lot weaker power wise and not as much of a staple of the story. It is told in first person and you are in the position of Jennifer Strange the main protagonist of the story. The book takes place in the Ununited Kingdom, the shambles of the United Kingdom we know today. Jennifer has a wide variety of people helping her along the way such as, Tiger Prawns, Lady Mawgon, Full Price, Wizard Moobin, etc. Fforde starts the book out by stating how the worlds magic is draining fast so it gives this sense of urgency where at any second you think the magic will stop. The Remarkable Kevin Zipp tells Jennifer of a dream he had where the last dragon “Maltcassion” was slain. This gives Jennifer’s boring Foundling life a new breath. When compared to other fantasy books such as the “Harry Potter” series, Jennifer isn’t extremely powerful and important to the world like Harry is. At the beginning of the book she can hardly if at all use magic. Dragonslayer has a different type of mystery than the Harry Potter series, it’s not as edgy and dark. I rate this book a 4/5 stars. At some points it gets a little confusing (and I won’t state any of those points her because I don’t like spoilers) but all in all it is a very interesting and funny book. I recommend it to those who are dedicated to their books and will read all the books in the series because there is a few that go more in-depth, but I would also recommend it to those who have a strong feeling for curiosity.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
So good!
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
When I read the description for this book, I saw it was for ages 10-14. However, I know this can be inaccurate sometimes here on BN. The story sounded cool, so I decided to give it a try. Boy, am I happy I did! I read this book within a few hours time. It held my attention from the first page until the last. The characters were all lovable, and I despised the bad guys! The writing was original, descriptive, and easy to read! The story was very lighthearted in many ways as well. If you are a lover of magic and dragons, this is definitely the story for you! Great for boys, girls, men, and women of all shapes and sizes! I highly recommend!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
dibbylodd More than 1 year ago
What a marvelous discovery. I'm really glad I got this book. It's engaging, well written, and has a great main character. What actually IS the role of the Dragonslayer? Besides making a lot of money, what was the major wizard's real agenda? And couldn't we all benefit from a friendly Quarkbeast? Read it and see.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
As other books from this author, it is full of humor, wordplay and a strong female character. This one is oriented to young readers.
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I love this story!! It reminds me of Fary Tail in a way!
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I loved this story! The way the author incorporated modern-day technology into the world of magic is just mistifying. Five stars for this! Hint: This is only for those who truly think that fantasy is not always bad, and who love a good story. SPOILER ALERT: Quarky dies ):
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