"Applaud for KLAWDE. Two paws up!"Dav Pilkey, creator of the Dog Man series.
"Funny, savage, and brilliant, Klawde is the pet I wish I had."Max Brallier, author of the New York Times Best Seller The Last Kids on Earth
Klawde is not your average cat. He's an emperor from another planet, exiled to Earth. He's cruel. He's cunning. He's brilliant... and he's about to become Raj Banerjee's best friend. Whether he likes it or not.
Klawde had everything. Sharp claws. Fine fur. And, being the High Commander of the planet Lyttyrboks, an entire world of warlike cats at his command. But when he is stripped of his feline throne, he is sentenced to the worst possible punishment: exile to a small planet in a quiet corner of the universe... named Earth.
Raj had everything. A cool apartment in Brooklyn. Three friends who lived in his building. And pizza and comics within walking distance. But when his mom gets a job in Elba, Oregon, and he is forced to move, all of that changes. It's now the beginning of summer, he has no friends, and because of his mother's urgings, he has joined a nature camp.
It's only when his doorbell rings and he meets a furball of a cat that Raj begins to think maybe his luck is turning around...
Heavily illustrated, with a hilarious, biting voice that switches between Raj and Klawde's perspectives, this is the story of an unlikely friendship that emerges as two fish out of water begin to find their footing in strange new worlds.
About the Author
Johnny Marciano is a New York Times bestselling author and illustrator. His books for kids range from The Witches of Benevento series to The No-Good Nine to Madeline at the White House, while his nonfiction work includes Anonyponymous. Johnny lives in Headquarters, New Jersey, with his wife, nine-year-old daughter, two cats, and a dog. Emily Chenoweth is the author of Hello Goodbye and the ghostwriter of several young adult New York Times Bestsellers. Under the name Emily Raymond, she has co-authored eight books with James Patterson, including First Love, Expelled, and Witch & Wizard: The Lost. She lives in Portland, Oregon, with her partner, the writer Jon Raymond, and their two daughters.
Robb Mommaerts is an illustrator living and working in the frigid state of Wisconsin. He hasn't changed much from his childhood years in the fact that he still mostly loves drawing monsters, dinosaurs, and robots. From his basement dungeon, he works primarily in the world of game art, children's books, character design, and comics.
When not attempting to put the strange daydreams from his head to paper, he and his wife are trying to keep up with two kids and a dog.
Read an Excerpt
Date: The 789th day of the year 58-493-D
Place: The Supremest Court of All Galactic Order
My enemies came for me at naptime.
Before I could even unsheathe my claws, they pounced atop me. They tied me up and chained my paws, and then they dragged me from my holding cell into the Supremest Court of All Galactic Order.
It was a most unpleasant way to wake up.
Though I could not fight them, I yowled so ferociously that the courtroom crowd—traitors, all of them!—hissed and scattered.
Only one cat had not betrayed me: my loyal minion, Flooffee-Fyr.
“You’ll always be my Lord High Emperor!” he called. “And I will always be your—oww!”
Someone had smacked him on the back of the head. It was the greatest traitor of them all, my former second-in-command—General Ffangg!
“Not such a mighty and powerful warlord now, are you?” he said, purring.
My tail slashed in anger. “I shall have my REVENGE on you, Ffangg!”
“We shall see about that,” Ffangg said, and bared his teeth at me as the Thirteen Noble Elders filed into the room.
The Chief Elder licked his right paw and called the court to order.
“My fellow cats,” he began. “Thousands of years ago, when our planet was overrun by criminal felines, our wise ancestors decided that these evildoers must be exiled.
“Far across the universe, they discovered a vast wasteland of a planet, inhabited by a race of carnivorous ogres. For generations, we sent our convicts there. None ever returned. But in the year 49-763-B, the punishment was deemed too cruel, and it was decreed that no feline—no matter how evil, no matter how tyrannical—would ever again be sent to this horrible place. And so it has been.
“Until you came along.
“You, former Lord High Emperor, have been so relentless in clawing your way to power, so ruthless in your evil schemes of domination, and so dedicated to general crimes against felinity, that we are forced to resurrect this ancient punishment.”
The crowd gasped.
“Have you anything to say, Wyss-Kuzz?” asked the Chief Elder.
A lesser cat might have begged for mercy, but all I showed them was my scorn!“Every one of you feckless felines will rue the day you overthrew me—the greatest warlord the universe has ever known—for the likes of a pathetic schemer like General Ffangg! You may shoot me into space like yesterday’s trash, but I swear to you that one day soon, I WILL BE BACK!”
General Ffangg chuckled. “You will bean ogre’s breakfast.”
With a wave of Ffangg’s paw, the guards unbound me and forced me into the waiting teleporter. Brilliant green light flashed as the wormhole opened. In an instant, I was transported 2,900.4 million light-years across space—to the most horrible, distant, and desolate planet in the universe:
It was a rainy Saturday night, and I was lying on the floor of my new living room, staring at the ceiling and wishing I were anywhere but here. Dad was watching baseball, Mom was working on her laptop, and I was experiencing a life-threatening level of boredom.
I still couldn’t believe what had happened. Up until last week, I’d been living a really great life in Brooklyn, New York. But then my parents decided to move 2,900.4 miles across the country to here.
If you ask me—and no one did—this was a terrible idea.
In New York, I could visit three friends without ever leaving my apartment building. And when I did leave, I could walk to the library, a comic book store, a candy shop, and two pizzerias all without having to cross the street.
If I left my house in Elba, I could walk to twelve trees, an ant mound, a hornets’ nest, and a bunch of rosebushes. Nature was everywhere.
It was spooky.
According to my mom, we’d moved to Oregon because she’d gotten a better job, and I got to have a big bedroom and a backyard.
But that stuff didn’t matter to me. Where were the comic book stores and pizza places? There wasn’t a singleshop on my street—not even a laundromat with good vending machines!
Here in Oregon, I had nothing to do and zero friends. Which was maybe why I hadn’t unpacked yet.
But then again, neither had my parents. What their excuse was, I had no idea.
I’d just picked up the latest Americaman comic to read for the millionth time when it happened—a bright green flash lighting up the sky outside the window. It only lasted a second, and then everything went dark and rainy again.
“Did you see that?” I asked.
“Yes!” my dad hollered. “Torres stole third base! Third base!”
“No, that crazy green light!”
My mom looked up from her laptop. “What, dear?”
“The green light outside!” I said.
“Oh, Raj, that was just lightning,” my mom said.
Okay, so another weird thing about Oregon: green lightning.
I went back to reading my comic—and then the doorbell rang.
The doorbell? Who could that be?
Here I was.
It was even more horrifying than the ancient texts had described.
It was nighttime. Blazing lights shone down from the top of huge, branchless trees. As I scanned the area for carnivorous ogres and other dangers, something wet hit me on the nose.
There was a liquid, falling from the sky!
Was this some sort of chemical weapon? Was I under attack?
I rushed under a leafy bush, but it offered little protection. The liquid slid down my lustrous fur, chilling me to the bone. I didn’t know what it could possibly be, but I HATED it. I had to find shelter now!
Thankfully, many of the trees on this planet did have branches. I climbed the nearest one, from which I immediately found evidence of Humans.
All around stood their massive fortresses, packed in so close they almost touched one another. High wooden walls surrounded their small patches of territory. In front of the fortresses sat huge, tank-like vehicles.
This must be a very warlike planet indeed.
I needed to gain entry into one of these fortified structures. I didn’t know what the ogres within would do to me, but this falling liquid was intolerable.
I raced to the nearest fortress. Next to its front portal was a glowing button. A push-button to open the entrance! Perhaps this would allow me to sneak in without being noticed. I leaped up and pressed it.
Hiss! Why did it make that awful noise?
Excerpted from "Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat #1"
Copyright © 2019 Johnny Marciano.
Excerpted by permission of Penguin Young Readers Group.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
With a flash of light, he was gone, teleported to the horrible, ravaged planet Earth! I had a wonderful, hilarious time reading this children’s book. It wasn’t just my love of cats that made this book entertaining, it was Klawde and his witty descriptions that stole the show. As Klawde described living amongst us carnivorous ogres, he couldn’t believe that Raj didn’t realize Klawde was the greatest feline warlord to walk the universe. Raj had problems of his own. They had just moved to Oregon and Raj didn’t know a soul. When the wet cat showed up on his doorstep, his parents told Raj that he could keep him, if he went to Nature Camp. Little did Raj know that Klawde was a talking warlord that had big plans which would involve him and that this “Nature Camp” was actually a survival camp. It was Klawde, the warlord and his supreme view that cracked me up throughout the novel. When gifted with a scratching post, Klawde wondered if it was a sculpture. What was up with the fake, fluffy animals that they tried to get Klawde to attack and kill, was this their idea of military training or just cat toys? What about the human who tried to spear Klawde in the neck? Klawde wants to return home to his planet and seek revenge on those who teleported him to Earth but first, he must find a way to get there. Raj has always wanted a cat yet I don’t think he was ready for Klawde. Raj becomes part of Klawde’s mission and tries to help him accomplish his task which of course, is funny. He thought he had a cool cat once he learns Klawde can talk but will he talk for anyone else? Raj has some issues at camp and talks to Klawde about them but unfortunately, Klawde behaves like a cat most of the time, when Raj wants any kind of a response. I really enjoyed this book. I liked Klawde’s imagination, his wit, and I liked his determination. I liked the friendship the two of them had. I liked how the author alternated the views from Klawde to Raj, on each chapter, as I believe that it allowed the reader to see both sides of the story and made the book wittier and amusing. I liked this book so much I picked up book 2 from the library last night. It was a fun and entertaining.
Klawde has been exiled to earth from his planet. Trying to escape from the rain he rings Raj's doorbell and that is how he becomes a "pet." Raj himself has his own major problem of how to get out of attending Camp Eclipse. His mother is not buying his excuses. Now the two must work together to get Klawde home and Raj home alive from Camp Eclipse. This is one of the funniest books I have read. I love the use of the first person-point-of view from Klawde and Raj. Klawde is cynical and sarcastic. I like that in a cat! Raj is just desperate. The changing point-of-view works very well together. I liked his teammates at Camp Eclipse and Counselor Turkey Vulture is not to be missed. Even Klawde is impressed by him. I hope the rest of the series is a good.