Intimacy Idiot

Intimacy Idiot

by Isaac Oliver


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From an award-winning playwright “who splits the difference between David Rakoff and Larry David” (New York magazine)—a “compulsively readable debut” (Time Out New York) of big-hearted, laugh-until-you-can’t-breathe essays, stories, and riffs on finding love and intimacy in New York City.

Since moving to New York a decade ago, award-winning writer and performer Isaac Oliver has pined for countless strangers on the subway, slept with half the people in his Washington Heights neighborhood, and observed the best and worst of humanity from behind the glass of a Times Square theater box office. Whether he’s hooking up with a man who dresses as a dolphin, suffering on airplanes and buses next to people with Food From Home, or hovering around an impenetrable circle of attractive people at a cocktail party, Oliver captures the messy, moving, and absurd moments of urban life as we live it today. In this uproariously funny debut collection, he serves up a comedic cornucopia of sketches, vignettes, lists, and diaries from his life as a young, fanciful, and extremely single gay man in New York City.

“Oliver has mastered the art of self-deprecation...he can find humor and heart in the unlikeliest of places,” raves Entertainment Weekly. Culled from years of heartbreak, hook-ups, and more awkwardness than a virgin at prom and a whore in church (and he should know because he’s been both), Intimacy Idiot chronicles Oliver’s encounters with love, infatuation, resilience, and self-acceptance that echo our universal desire for intimacy of all kinds.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781476746678
Publisher: Scribner
Publication date: 06/14/2016
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 288
Sales rank: 993,938
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Isaac Oliver is an award-winning writer and performer. He has read stories in the How I Learned Series, Dead Darlings, The Soundtrack Series, Real Characters, Naked Radio, and On This Island. Intimacy Idiot is his first book.

Table of Contents

Online Dating Profile 1

How I Didn't Learn to Drive 4

Subway Diary 14

The Dolphin from Dubai 16

Cooking for One 25

People's Parties 26

Love Poem for the Guy across from Me on the Subway This Morning 30

Poser 32

Subway Diary 43

My Kind of Bar 47

Zoo Stories 49

Coming Up 64

A Few Key Erotic Moments from My Early Adolescence 66

Subway Diary 79

Love Poem for the Tall Drink of Water Who Shushed the Loud Gay Guys next to Me at a Concert 83

Traveling Alone 86

Cooking for One 91

Dates 92

Scene from a Box Office 103

Subway Diary 105

Triptych 109

Some Scattered Thoughts on Los Angeles, Las Vegas, and Marion, Massachusetts 114

Subway Diary 118

The Horny New York Poem 121

The White Russian 124

Scene from a Box Office 126

Home Invasions 128

Cooking for One 135

Love in the Time of Eczema 136

Subway Diary 139

Ah Ah 141

Love Poem for the Fair-Haired Young Man Doing the New York Times Crossword Puzzle 145

Where I Live 148

Go Together Like a Horse and Carriage 156

Things I Know to Be True 162

A Curse 165

The Law Student 166

Love Poem for the Preppy Guy with the Single Cupcake 170

Cooking for One 172

Casual Sex Correspondence 173

How to Build a Fire (in Thirty Easy Steps) 175

The Hockey Player 180

The Lonely Christmas Poem 186

Try It 191

Box Office Hall of Shame 193

Ails 196

Obit for a Murse 203

Subway Diary 205

Over the Knee 208

Texts from My Parents on Their Cruise 211

Attend This Tale of Icy Gays 212

Cooking foe One 216

Big Ben 217

Scene from a Box Office 226

Love Poem for the Hot Young Dad Holding the Newborn on the Subway 228

Judged 229

Subway Diary 242

The Dark Place 246

Where Is Your Shakespeare? 248

Love Poem for the Classiest Gay Guy on Avenue A 250

The Rural Northwestern Ohio Tragedy Tour 254

The Woodsman 256

Love Poem for the Couple in the Honeymoon Stage across from Me on the Subway 269

Acknowledgments 273

Customer Reviews

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Intimacy Idiot 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 3 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I enjoyed most of his observations but some dropped like a lead balloon. But bravo overall! ~*~LEB~*~
Chancie More than 1 year ago
I found this book to be hilarious! It felt like almost every story had a particularly hilarious line or two, and I loved it. I wasn't a fan of the "poetry" chapters, but everything else was great. It's very blunt and very sex-focused (obviously), so if that isn't your thing, you won't enjoy this. I was honestly so sad when I got the end. I really enjoyed it.
Tudorgirl More than 1 year ago
So funny, so poignant. It manages to be both touching and hilarious. I highly recommend for anyone looking for a good laugh and a human connection.