I'm Right, You're Wrong, Now What?: Break the Impasse and Get What You Need

I'm Right, You're Wrong, Now What?: Break the Impasse and Get What You Need

by Amador Xavier


View All Available Formats & Editions
Choose Expedited Shipping at checkout for guaranteed delivery by Friday, October 18


They happen every day—those frustrating, circular "I'm right, you're wrong!" arguments. What's at risk may be as life-changing as whether or not your kid drops out of college, your aging parent goes into a nursing home, or your boss gives you the promotion you want. Or it may be as commonplace as getting the insurance company to approve your claim. These situations often frustrate both parties, stall progress, and hurt relationships. But they don't have to. In I'm Right, You're Wrong, Now What? Dr. Xavier Amador, a Columbia University professor and clinical psychologist shows you how to break nearly any impasse and persuade your opponent—for that's what people become when you've reached an impasse—to give you what you need. I'm Right, You're Wrong, Now What is based on Dr. Amador's LISTEN-EMPATHIZE-AGREE-PARTNER (LEAP) method. A highly successful program that has been taught to tens of thousands of people in seminars around the U.S. and overseas, LEAP teaches you how to turn even toxic arguments into healthy disagreements that end with you getting what you need. Built on timeless psychological truths and new research, LEAP is a roadmap for improving the quality and health of any relationship. LEAP will actually show you how to convince the other person to help you, while increasing mutual respect and trust. Perhaps most importantly, it will help you make that all-important distinction between what you want and what you need. Dr. Amador's LEAP program includes techniques on how to:

  • diffuse anger and lower defenses
  • get past stubbornness and even denial
  • make your opponent ask for your opinion . . . instead of railing against it
  • turn adversaries into allies
  • create positive and productive relationships
At home, at work and in life, LEAP demonstrates how winning is not about hearing the other person say "You're right," it's about getting him to give you what you need—even when he doesn't agree with you.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781401303464
Publisher: Hachette Books
Publication date: 04/01/2008
Pages: 256
Sales rank: 653,750
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.40(h) x 0.70(d)
Age Range: 13 - 18 Years

About the Author

Dr. Xavier Amador is an adjunct professor in clinical psychology at Teacher's College, Columbia University in New York City and is on the Board of Directors of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI). A clinical psychologist who treats adults, children, and adolescents in individual, couples and family therapy, he has also been called upon to serve as a forensic expert on such high profile cases as the Unabomber, the Capitol Shooter, Elizabeth Smart, and the Twentieth Hijacker, among others. He is called upon frequently by the media, and has published over 100 peer-reviewed scientific papers. He lives in New York.

Table of Contents

Introduction     xv
Getting Ready to LEAP     1
I'm Right, You're Wrong-How to Recognize When You've Reached an Impasse     3
What Is It You Really Need?     23
Learning to Give in Order to Get What You Really Need     36
Learning to LEAP     45
The Psychology of LEAP     47
Before You LEAP-Stop and Look Both Ways     57
Listen-in Order to Disarm     74
Empathize-in Order to Befriend     95
Now What?     107
Agree-with Your Adversary     122
Partner-to Get What You Need     134
LEAP for the Many Faces of Impasse     143
LEAP to Better Relationships at Home     145
LEAP to Better Business Relations     161
Getting Service People to LEAP to Your Assistance     179
LEAP Past Denial     192
LEAP Through Closed Doors     214
Conclusion: LEAP in Life     227

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

See All Customer Reviews

I'm Right, You're Wrong, Now What?: How to Get What You Need Without Damaging Your Relationships 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 1 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The US government leaders need to take courses by this author! Everyone who has to ever deal with other people (that would be one or two people!) could benefit! Super great ideas!