I Was Here

I Was Here

by Gayle Forman

Audio Other(Other)

$64.99 View All Available Formats & Editions


The newest heartwrenchingly powerful novel from the bestelling author of IF I STAY.
When her best friend Meg drinks a bottle of industrial-strength cleaner alone in a motel room, Cody is understandably shocked and devastated. She and Meg shared everything—so how was there no warning? But when Cody travels to Meg’s college town to pack up the belongings left behind, she discovers that there’s a lot that Meg never told her. About her old roommates, the sort of people Cody never would have met in her dead-end small town in Washington. About Ben McAllister, the boy with a guitar and a sneer, and some secrets of his own. And about an encrypted computer file that Cody can’t open—until she does, and suddenly everything Cody thought she knew about her best friend’s death gets thrown into question.
I Was Here is Gayle Forman at her finest, a taut, emotional, and ultimately redemptive story about redefining the meaning of family and finding a way to move forward even in the face of unspeakable loss.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781467697415
Publisher: Random House
Publication date: 02/28/2015
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 7.30(h) x 1.10(d)
Age Range: 14 - 17 Years

About the Author

Gayle Forman is an award-winning, internationally bestselling author and journalist. She is the author of Just One Day and Just One Year, and the companion e-novella Just One Night, as well as the New York Times bestsellers If I Stay—which was made into a major motion picture of the same name—and Where She Went. She lives in Brooklyn, New York, with her husband and daughters.

Read an Excerpt

Chapter 1

The day after Meg died, I received this letter:

I regret to inform you that I have had to take my own life. This decision has been a long time coming, and was mine alone to make. I know it will cause you pain, and for that I am sorry, but please know that I needed to end my own pain. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. It’s not your fault.


She emailed copies of the letter to her parents and to me, and to the Tacoma police department, along with another note informing them which motel she was at, which room she was in, what poison she had ingested, and how her body should be safely handled. On the pillow at the motel room was another note—instructing the maid to call the police and not touch her body—along with a fifty-dollar tip.

She sent the emails on a time delay. So that she would be long gone by the time we received them.

Of course, I didn’t know any of that until later. So when I first read Meg’s email on the computer at our town’s public library, I thought it had to be some kind of joke. Or a hoax. So I called Meg, and when she didn’t answer, I called her parents.

“Did you get Meg’s email?” I asked them.

“What email?”

Excerpted from "I Was Here"
by .
Copyright © 2016 Gayle Forman.
Excerpted by permission of Penguin Young Readers Group.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

Praise for I Was Here:

“A heartbreaking novel about loss from the bestselling author of If I Stay.” --People magazine

"I Was Here is a pitch-perfect blend of mystery, tragedy, and romance. Gayle Forman has given us an unflinchingly honest portrait of the bravery it takes to live after devastating loss." —Stephen Chbosky, author of the New York Times bestselling The Perks of Being a Wallflower

"As she did in If I Stay, Forman offers an introspective examination of the line between life and death, and the courage it takes to persist."—Publishers Weekly, starred review

"Part tautly paced mystery, part psychological study of suicide and its aftereffects. . . An engrossing and provocative look at the devastating finality of suicide, survivor's guilt, the complicated nature of responsibility and even the role of the Internet in life-and-death decisions." —Kirkus Reviews

"Suicide has always been a subject in YA literature, and to her credit, Forman handles it sensitively and gracefully, raising important issues of the ethics and morality of the subject. The combination mystery and love story is sure to reach a wide readership and excite essential discussion. . . This latest offering should generate massive teen interest." —Booklist

"Cody's struggle with grief and complicity is intense and affecting up until an emotional gut-punch of a conclusion. Once this compelling case is closed, what remains is a haunting, elegiac tale about enduring and understanding loss. " —The Horn Book

"Teens will clamor for this latest offering from the author of If I Stay." —School Library Journal

"Hugely popular Forman, author of the acclaimed If I Stay among others, has another best seller here. This novel’s strength lies in its depiction of main character Cody, a young woman torn by conflicts but sustained by her own sense of purpose." —VOYA


Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

See All Customer Reviews

I Was Here 3.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 48 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Have not been able to put it down. Got really caught up from the beginning, it kinda ties in to what I have dealt with for a good while. The whole depression and everything. Made me feel good that there are others going through it to even though its a book. Really good read no-the-less. 
-justin- More than 1 year ago
This book was beautifully written and left you want more, the pages couldn't stop turning for me 
mikeburton04 More than 1 year ago
I've read several of Gayle Forman's books and find them to be relevant for today's youth. Like her other works, this deals with issues that are important to young people. While it doesn't match If I Stay, it was very worthwhile. It may help those with teens to find some common ground for discussion.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great teen book!
bouncyberthaCR More than 1 year ago
2 - "If that's what happens to normal, what hope is there for the rest of us?" Stars. I think I should firstly say that I am a huge fan of Gayle Forman’s books. She somehow manages to take a bunch of fairly unremarkable, usual characters and give them what starts out as an ordinary story, but with one unique twist, turns them into extraordinary books. I am guaranteed to need tissues and want a hug after finishing a book by her, but I always feel I am a better person for having read the story she has given me. You get all of the above with I Was Here with the exception of needing tissues and wanting a hug. This book left me cold; I know that is a pretty blunt summation, but that’s how I felt. I am not sure what went wrong but for me there was no emotion from me or the characters, I felt no empathy or sympathy for what any of them were experiencing, and I could find no real solid reasoning for half of the things Cody did, thought or said. I would go as far as to say disliked her, her mother, their attitudes and just them in general intensely.  Ben didn’t evoke much from me either, in fact no one in the book did really, apart from Meg’s little brother Scottie. Meg’s suicide and the reasoning behind it, her family’s behavior in the aftermath, and the actions Cody took to try and get to the bottom of the mystery… nothing. I felt absolutely nothing, I kept reading as I was sure that at some point something would happen to give me that lump in my throat, bring on that lip wobble or just a slight tear to the eye. I have absolutely no doubt that I am probably in the minority with my feelings about this book, Gayle is, and will always be an author I am happy to read a book by. I guess that sometimes, some subjects and the story and characters an author chooses to build around them just don’t work for even their ardent fans. That is definitely the camp I am in on this occasion. ”I have time.” ARC generously provided via Netgalley, in exchange for the above honest review.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Even though the romance was sort of unecessary to the novel, i was very entertained anyway. I think the reason I kept turning the page was for the romance.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
It was an excellent book, makes you think about life and how sometimes people's choices affect you, also that we don't always know what is going on with the ones we love (in this case her friend, almost sister) and sometimes we can't do anything to help their, I really love it. 
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is such a great book about depression and suicide. My daughter tried to commit suicide and I found this book to be helpful to me for whatever reason.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I just read this book and wow! I could not put it down and it is absolutely a book thar I will read over and over.
Bookyogi 19 days ago
A sad and hopeful and heart tugging story about depression and suicide. This story reads a little differently than the ethereal feeling of her books, more visceral in a way personal to the author.
MyndiL More than 1 year ago
This book was intense. I had to keep walking away from it when it got too heavy. If you have suffered from depression or know someone who has, or anyone who has taken their own life or thought about it, this might get to you. That's my PSA. While everyone struggles with the loss of someone close to them, what is often not portrayed quite as clearly as this book portrays, is the guilt many of us feel when someone takes their own life. Did we do enough, is it our fault, could we have prevented this act, how did we not see what was going on in their mind? All of these things are addressed as Cody goes through her mourning process. The discoveries made by Cody when she digs into Meg's life and computer are what really shook me to my core, and finding out in the author's notes that it was based on a true story really got to me. (Please read the author's notes, I don't always but you won't want to skip this one.) I can't believe there are people as evil as this out there. People who are so misguided that they think they are doing a good thing. It was horrifying to read and I think it will take me awhile to fully process that part. The underlying romance is unusual and sweet and I think it shows us all the capability of forgiveness, and moving on. The ability to open our hearts again after a great tragedy and let someone in. And I love that the romance is underlying and not the main focal point of the novel. If you have read Forman's work before, I'm sure you will enjoy this book. If you like works of John Green and the like, you will probably enjoy it as well.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I Was Here" Book Review I Was Here by Gayle Forman is a realist fiction book about a college student who's BFF commits suicide. The protagonist is an 18 year old college student named Cody. Cody has many questions running through her head on why her best friend Meg would killed herself and not tell her she was depressed. One of the themes in I Was Here is that grieving is hard but there is always a way to get better. The protagonist Cody and Meg had not seen each other in months since they had to attend different colleges and as Megs best friend Cody automatically feels that she did something wrong to cause her the commit suicide. “I failed her in life. But I won’t fail her in death.” Cody feels that it is her job to find out way Meg killed herself and who made her do it. Throughout this book Cody meets many of Megs college friends that over time become her friends over time. These friends help Cody in her search to find out way Meg is dead. When comparing to another realistic fiction, Where She Went, many people have to go through the grieving processes. Both Cody and Mia are college girls who lost the people close to them and go through the grieving process in about the same way. Overall this was an amazing story. This story is from Cody's perspective. Gayle Forman does a get job getting the reader to really picture and feel what was going on in the book. This somewhat sad but romantic book receives a 10 out of 10 stars. This would be a great read for a teen to a young adult.
Bdanelle More than 1 year ago
Read the book in 2 sittings. Speaks for itself.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
0 stars I don't recommend it
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I found the charecters hard to like and unrealistic. I've read other books by thus author and loved them, but this one did not pull at my heart strings as his other works have done. In fact I found myself in a faul mood every time I finished a chapter.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Hi, my name is Zuleika and I will be doing a book review of a non fiction book called I Was Here by Gayle Forman, this book was published not so long ago, in 2014. This book is about Meg killing herself and no one really knows why. Meg best friend Cody goes a head with this mystery journey trying to find out more about her suicide. Cody thinks that someone killed her best friend Meg because Cody knows the way her Meg is about taking a blame for other people. After thinking and going through Meg computer and emails Cody finds something strange and starts hunting for clues and every time she finds a clue things start to add up. In this journey of Cody she meets people and find out things that she thought her best friend would tell her. I really love this book, this book was an amazing book that had me with my mouth open and the way things went in the book had me smiling. I wish that there was another book on it because I absolutely loved it. Cody does something that had me in shocked and surprised me. I caught myself blushing and smiling and all. I can't tell you the rest because I cant spoil the ending I wish I could but trust me you will like it and you know how I know you will like it? Because I don’t read at all I hate reading and this book has me that I want to read more and more. So imagine someone that hates reading ending up liking this book and is seeking for more about this book, this book will have you in shocked and wanting more. This book is a romance and tragedy at the same time.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I could not put it down.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
maggie-martin94 More than 1 year ago
It wasn't until I read the author's note at the end about basing her story off of a real person named Suzy Gonzalez when I felt the impact of this story. I wished that it stayed completely revolved around the relationship between Cody and Meg-- the added romance from Ben was like ripping Adam from If I Stay and putting him in a new town with a new love interest. It felt forced, akward, and unecessary. BUT (and this is a big but) I found the idea of tracking down the man behind the screen at the suicide "support group" to be completely fascinating. And, to read at the end that support groups like this truly do exist and helped a real person decide to take their own life makes this story so much more important. The romance made it feel trite and the story could have shined without it. I WAS HERE would have been NO DOUBT a five star book for me without it. Cody was strong enough to be on her own, but I felt like the publisher said "Gayle Forman does tragic romance, let's throw in another hot guitar player."
Kaylexanna More than 1 year ago
I had high expectations for this book after If I Stay and Where She Went, and I wasn’t disappointed. I Was Here definitely won’t be for everyone, but parts of it resonated with me in a way I didn’t expect. There’s a lot going on in this book, both up front and beneath the surface – about secrets, family, friendship, and forgiveness, and Forman handles it beautifully. The romance was a huge disappointment for me, but I also felt like the focus of the main story wasn’t on that, so I was mostly able to ignore it (thankfully). Cody’s mission to learn the truth behind Meg’s suicide really pulled me in and kept me turning the pages. Her anger and heartbreak fueled her through her journey, and the lengths she went to made me almost want to look away because the direction she went in made me so uncomfortable. Overall, I thought this was a really strong book, if really tough to read at times, and I’m looking forward to reading more of Forman’s works in the future.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Best-of-YA More than 1 year ago
Meg and Cody have been inseparable since kindergarten, so when Cody gets Meg’s suicide email she has no idea what to think. They were supposed to know everything about each other, so why did Cody have absolutely no idea Meg was in this much pain? When she is asked to pack up Meg’s things at her college apartment, she stumbles upon an encrypted file Meg failed to delete off her laptop. Once Cody is able to open the file, she becomes obsessed with figuring out what all the documents inside mean and what role, if any, they had in Meg’s suicide. This deals with some pretty heavy topics—depression and suicide—but ultimately this is a story about forgiveness. Cody is angry and lost after Meg’s suicide. She feels responsible and guilty because she wasn’t there for Meg during her lowest, but she also feels betrayed and doesn’t know how to forgive Meg for leaving her. She becomes obsessed with finding someone to blame because she does not believe that her beautiful, amazing, full-of-life best friend could have consciously chosen to end her own life. She discovers a lot about Meg she didn’t previously know and understands that in order to move on from this she must not only forgive Meg, but she has to forgive herself as well. Cody and Ben fell flat for me as characters and so did their romance. There are brief moments where they connect and bond and whatever, but they spend more time apart and not talking/fighting then falling in love (at least in my opinion). I just didn’t feel the chemistry that is so common in all of Forman’s other books with these two. But falling in love really isn’t the focal point of this story so I guess that’s why the romance didn’t have to be as well developed. I will read anything Gayle Forman writes because I absolutely loved If I Stay/Where She Went and Just One Day/Just One Year. All of her books are different but what stays constant is how emotionally gripping they are. I think I might have started this with my expectations set a bit too high because, although I liked the book I didn’t think it was amazing. I didn’t connect as much with these characters and this story as I have with all her other books. 
KrittersRamblings More than 1 year ago
Check out the full review at Kritters Ramblings  Cody is left behind.  Her friend committed suicide and for Cody it felt out of the blue.  Her friend Meg was away at college and both Cody and her parents didn't see the signs and wish they had the chance to help Meg work through whatever issues she was dealing with.   As most Gayle Forman's books go, this one is dealing with a sensitive subject - suicide.  I thought it was an interesting take on suicide as the friend, Cody, tries to figure out the why and how she could have maybe prevented it.   I enjoyed reading Cody's journey, but kept forgetting that Meg didn't die from cancer or an accident and that it was suicide and it made me nervous that the seriousness of suicide may not have come across throughout the whole book.  I hope that young readers don't read this book and lose a sense of seriousness about suicide. As part of the Gayle Forman shelf, I liked it.  It read smoothly and quickly, but definitely a tough subject to tackle.