How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

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Overview

"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships—one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life:

   1.  Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships.
   2.  Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are.
   3.  Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.
   4.  Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.
   5.  Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control.


When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A's—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781570628122
Publisher: Shambhala
Publication date: 06/18/2002
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 86,542
Product dimensions: 5.95(w) x 8.97(h) x 0.72(d)

About the Author

David Richo, PhD, is a psychotherapist, teacher, writer, and workshop leader whose work emphasizes the benefits of mindfulness and loving-kindness in personal growth and emotional well-being. He is the author of numerous books, including How to Be an Adult in Relationships and The Five Things We Cannot Change. He lives in Santa Barbara and San Francisco, California.

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

“An inspiring and highly practical guide to effective relationships.”—Kathlyn Hendricks, coauthor of Conscious Loving and The Conscious Heart

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How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving 3.7 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 64 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I highly recommend this book. If you are fed up with the unenlightened drone of typical relationship books, then this is the book for you. Topics such as ¿How to keep your Man/Woman¿, ¿The Rules for Dating¿, ¿What women/men are really saying¿ etc will not be found among these easy to read pages. It does not boast a fool proof ¿12 step method¿ to becoming an adult in relationships but instead inspires one to take their own personalized steps. Wrapped in its inspiring words I have discovered what love and relationships truly mean for me, and it has become a great resource for becoming a better partner by becoming a more enlightened and peaceful person. Growth of the individual is at the core of this book and I have taken to heart what the author has made available through his well-articulated ideas. I will continue to try to make this mindful philosophy a practicing part of my life.
bookholiday More than 1 year ago
An exceptional book- hard to put down. Enjoyed it
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book is obviously written with a lot of care and love. I am still fairly young but have been in various relationships and I have noticed that I repeat similar patterns with my partners and they have ruined my relationships. This book helped me realize that what I thought was love was not really love. It was just personal gratification. Since reading this book I really have a better understanding of what a true loving relationship is. I also like the book 'The ever-transcending spirit' by Toru Sato. It is also an excellent book that helped me understand the true meaning of love, not just romantic love but love in a more general sense. Anyways I really liked these books and I highly recommend them to anyone interested in making their relationships better and becoming a happier person.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is an extremely inspiring book on not just relationships but on becoming mature as a human being. It helped me understand why I am this way and how I can grow out of it. This book has vastly improved my whole life including my relationship with my spouse! I really love this book! The only other book I could recommend if you'd like to grow as a person and improve on your relationships is 'The Ever-Transcending Spirit' by Toru Sato. Sato's book is completely awesome as well! It is not only inspiring, but explains the process of human development and its relation to how we mature in our relationships in a way that is very easy to understand. If you want to grow, these are the books to get. If you are ready for this step in your life, I am almost sure you will benefit immensely from them!
Edd-Burns More than 1 year ago
I found this book after going through my second divorce. There are a lot of issues addressed in this book. While this book addresses all relationships in general; my intent was to use it in order to establish a permanent relationship with a loving partner. While I have finished reading the book, I am still using it with my current partner. The practices provide topics of discussion that allow us to address topics that are important to us, and how to deal with the areas of conflict where our beliefs are not necessarily compatible. The five As are explained in great detail and are applied in ways that make sense. My partner and I continue to use this book in an attempt to lead more mindful lives.
JerryColonna on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
A little slow at first but ultimately a terrific analysis of what works and what doesn't work in relationships. More important, great material for the individual to use to complete their own inner work through the relationship. Favorite line: "Mindfulness is being an adult."
BillPilgrim on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I found this book to be very helpfuls in discussing and addressing the issues that I have been trying to work on. I am sure that I will be re-reading parts of it often during the next several months, if not the entire book again soon
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
two thumbs up!
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Guest More than 1 year ago
This is a fine book which adds depth to self knowledge, and hence knowledge of your partner, essential for meaningful and thoughtful relationships. Mindfulness is a way of fully "being" in the world, which facilitates love.
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