People with high conflict personalities (HCPs) clog our courts as plaintiffs with inappropriate claims against their personal "targets of blame," and as defendants who have harmed others and need to be stopped. Everybody knows someone with a High Conflict Personality. "How can he be so unreasonable?" "Why does she keep fighting? Can't she see how destructive she is?" "Can you believe they're going to court over ______?"
Some HCPs are more difficult than others, but they tend to share a similar preoccupation with blame that drives them into one dispute after anotherand keeps everyone perplexed about how to deal with them.
Using case examples and an analysis of the general litigation and negotiation behaviors of HCPs, this book helps make sense of the fears that drive people to file lawsuits and complaints. It provides insight for containing their behavior while managing and/or resolving their disputes. Characteristics of the five "high-conflict" personality disorders are explored:
BorderlineNarcissistic Histrionic ParanoidAntisocial
Bill Eddy is a lawyer, therapist, mediator, and President of the High Conflict Institute. He developed the "High Conflict Personality" theory and is an international expert on the subject. He is a Certified Family Law Specialist and Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center. He has taught at the University of San Diego School of Law, is on the part-time faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law and the National Judicial College, and lectures at Monash University in Australia.
|Publisher:||High Conflict Institute Press|
|Edition description:||Second Edition, Revised and Updated|
|Product dimensions:||6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.50(d)|
About the Author
Bill Eddy is a lawyer, therapist, mediator and the President of High Conflict Institute. He developed the "High Conflict Personality" theory (HCP Theory) and has become an international expert on managing disputes involving high conflict personalities and personality disorders. He provides training on this subject to legal, business, law enforcement, mental health, and other professionals. He has been a speaker and trainer in the U.S., Canada, France, Switzerland, and Sweden.
As an attorney, Bill is a Certified Family Law Specialist in California and the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego. Prior to becoming an attorney in 1992, he was a Licensed Clinical Social worker with twelve years’ experience providing therapy to children, adults, couples and families in psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics. He has taught Negotiation and Mediation at the University of San Diego School of Law for six years and he is on the part-time faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law and the National Judicial College. He is a frequent lecturer at Monash University in Australia.
Table of Contents
Introduction to Second Edition 2
Introduction to First Edition 4
Part I Understanding High-Conflict Personalities 11
1 The Problem: Personalities Drive Conflict 13
2 The Pattern: An Enduring Pattern of Blame 25
3 Borderline Personalities: Love You, Hate You 47
4 Narcissistic Personalities: I'm Very Superior 75
5 Antisocial Personalities: Con Artists 99
6 Histrionic Personalities: Always Dramatic 129
7 Paranoid Personalities: Always Suspicious 149
8 Negative Advocates: Family, Friends and Professionals 163
Part II Managing and Resolving Their Disputes 181
9 Bonding: Providing Security and Limits 183
10 Structure: Containing Emotions and Focusing on Tasks 197
11 Reality Testing: Cognitive Distortions and Legal Standards 217
12 Consequences: Motivating Reflection and Behavior Change 231
13 Presenting Your Case: Behavior Patterns, Not Labels 243
14 A United Approach: The Key to Resolving Their Disputes 253
About the Author 276
About High Conflict Institute 277
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Essential reading if you are involved with a person who is "high conflict", a bully, stubborn, avoids responsibility and blames, or whose motto is "my way or the highway." Insightful descriptions of the problem together with a thorough and practical solution model.There are many books on the market that address the issue, such as Emotional Vampires, Coping with Toxic Managers, Subordinates and Other Difficult People..., and Dealing with Difficult People. Some of these books get close to the roots, but most don¿t ¿get it.¿ For example, Dealing with People You Can't Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst, Brinkman and Kirschner, describes the problem people in generic terms like The Sniper, The Grenade, the Know-It-All. These terms may work for people, but what they are really describing are psychological behaviors. Psychology and how people work is certainly a huge nut to crack, but Bill Eddy gets down to the brass tacks and explains in very understandable terms how, and why, these people are well described by Cluster B behaviors. These personality types are well documented and understood in the psychological field, and Eddy makes these concepts highly accessible. Eddy¿s book is written from the perspective of conflict in the legal system and his solutions are oriented for lawyers, judges, mediators, and victims of difficult people like divorcing spouses. However, his theories appear to be robust and extensible and appear to be highly effective in any setting such as work, home, or with teenagers. They also seem to be highly predictive of behaviors by HCP¿s.Tongue Fu and the Four Agreements are books that seems to have good practical suggestions. William Ury¿s trilogy also appears to be an excellent source of tools and suggestions for how to deal with difficult people. I would definitely start with Eddy's High Conflict works.