Get Lost: Your Guide to Finding True Love

Get Lost: Your Guide to Finding True Love

by Dannah Gresh


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Have you ever ditched a friend for a guy? Filled your journal with more thoughts about guys than God? Found yourself jealous because that other girl gets all the dates? Maybe it’s time to get lost—in God.
Discover how to get so lost in God that a guy has to seek Him to find you.
Dannah Gresh traces God’s language of love through Scripture to help you pursue your heart’s deepest desires and seek love the way God designed it to be. Because once you identify your true longings and let God answer them, you’ll know just how to respond when romantic love comes along.
With a guided ten-day Love Feast Challenge, Get Lost will help you see for yourself how getting lost in God opens the door to lifelong fulfillment.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780307730633
Publisher: The Crown Publishing Group
Publication date: 04/02/2013
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 387,139
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Dannah Gresh is the best-selling author of eighteen books, including And the Bride Wore White, Lies Young Women Believe (with Nancy Leigh DeMoss), and What Are You Waiting For? A popular speaker nationwide, Dannah has long been at the forefront of the movement to encourage tweens and teens to pursue purity. Dannah lives in State College, Pennsylvania, with her husband, Bob.

Read an Excerpt

God. Guys. And the Great Mix-Up.

This is a book about God…
…and guys…
…and how we get them mixed up.

Oh, do we ever.

It shows up in the little things: picking the short skirt, racing to update a relationship status on Facebook, filling a journal with guy-talk instead of God-talk, texting under the pillow at night, jumping from guy to guy, taking the “walk of shame”…again, or bailing on friends when a guy calls. As you think about similar choices in your own life and what they suggest about the priorities of your heart, you may have an intuition that I’m right. Your spirit gets it, if your mind does not.

I’m certain that a part of you desperately wants to get lost in God’s love. At least some small piece of us always seems to be aware that we are wired to seek God’s heart and to let Him touch our own. But it’s so difficult. After all, the love of a guy is so stinkin’ tangible. You can see a guy. Smell a guy. Touch a guy. Hug a guy. Text a guy. Get gifts from a guy. And they are everywhere! There are more than 139 million men in the United States alone. No wonder we get distracted from seeking God’s love! I certainly have been prone to reach for the tangible love of a guy rather than the ultimate love of God. As I look back on one particular scene from my sophomore year in college, I see it as a classic example of my own mixed-up thinking.

“I’ll meet you in the yearbook office in one hour,” I confirmed to Russ before I hung up the phone. Russ was my yearbook editor at Cedarville University, and after two years of hard work, I was in line for his position the following year. On top of being a great résumé builder, the job came with a hefty scholarship. If my boss needed me, I’d be there!

Since I wouldn’t have time to hit the cafeteria, I turned on my electric kettle to boil water for some Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. It wasn’t fancy, but it was fast. I was pouring neon-orange powder over buttered macaroni noodles when my phone rang again. Before I could get out a hello I heard, “Dannah Barker, say you’ll marry me. But if you can’t, then at least break it to me gently by saying you’ll go to Wittenberg with me to study.”

Bob Gresh!

This guy, whom I’d been dating for a while, always kept me laughing.

“Yes!” I giggled. “When?”

“I’ll be right over,” he said. It shouldn’t have surprised me. Bob was the definition of spontaneity.

“Umm,” I hesitated, thinking about the commitment I’d just made to go help Russ. And I really did want that job next year. Should I risk it?

“We’ll run through Lee’s on the way for some chicken,” he promised.

“Well…okay,” I said, dumping my noodles into the trash can. “Let’s go!”

For a brief moment, I considered calling Russ to cancel, but I wasn’t sure what to tell him. The truth: This great guy just proposed marriage or a date at the Wittenberg library, and I chose the latter when I’m really shamelessly going for the first option! Or the other truth: I’m a complete dolt, risking what I’ve worked two years to achieve in that yearbook office all because I’m incapable of saying anything but “yes” or “oh, yes!” to this guy because I crave him night and day. Either way I’d sound like a complete loser.

So I didn’t call Russ. I needed to think of a good excuse first. (Read: I was planning to tell a really good lie.)

I gathered my books, met Bob in front of my dorm, and jumped into his white sports car, casting aside my integrity.

God in all His sovereignty made sure I’d run into Russ’s best friend at the Wittenberg library. Russ was forgiving, but I’d have given almost anything (except my boyfriend, of course) to have not seen the disappointment register in his eyes when the truth unfolded.

There was no denying the truth.

I was guy-crazy with no ambition to be God-crazy.

That impulsive decision—along with so many others—was driven by a deep-rooted reality: I had confused my longing for God’s love with my longing for a guy’s love. All because of the Craving.

The Violent Craving.

You have it. Your friends have it. Your mom had it. Your grandma had it. Your greatgrandma had it. It’s been around awhile.

Countless generations of woman have experienced it.

The Craving is a part of the Curse, which means it dates all the way back to Eve. After she and Adam sinned, God showed up to explain that things would never be the same. To Eve, He talked about the Craving. Genesis 3:16b reads, Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.

The word “desire” is critical here. Two respected theologians once said that the Hebrew language used in this verse evokes a “desire bordering upon disease.” They also said that the desire might best be called a “violent craving.” In the original language of the Bible, God used some pretty expressive wording to describe what women would experience in relation to men after the Fall. Simply put, we hunger for them. The Craving makes us all insatiably hungry for the attention of a guy, but each of us experiences this desire in a slightly different way.

I asked college-aged women who follow my blog to share how the Violent Craving has shown up in their lives. Here’s a sampling of their responses:

I have felt the Violent Craving expressed as jealousy toward my peers that have boyfriends. How foolish I felt, to feel jealous instead of happy, when a friend started dating a guy I DIDN’T EVEN WANT TO DATE.

Elementary school to high school, I didn’t get the attention I wanted. I was the chunky monkey that everyone went to for a good laugh. It wasn’t until I got to be around 16 I got the attention from guys, and it got the best of me and took one of the most valuable things from me—my virginity. I lost it to a friend who liked my sister and respected her, but thought I would be the easier choice. And he was right.

My main regret would be that I haven’t spent my time enjoying my singleness.

There used to be a boy that I cared for very much. He was godly Christian, extremely polite, and we communicated through e-mail almost daily. My deep longing to be desired and pursued blinded my eyes from the warning signs that he wasn’t everything he claimed to be. A year or two after I met him, he ended up having sex with my younger sister on the couch in our living room.

I went to a secular university and was involved in a campus ministry. One of the most popular sayings among the girls was “ring by spring.” To say there was a Violent Craving toward the idea of having a husband is an understatement.… I was the only single girl in the apartment. I allowed myself to be ruled by a Violent Craving for a husband.

My Craving started at the age of twelve when my dad passed away. I longed for a man to notice me. I wanted that attention. I dressed to attract men and wanted a man’s approval.

They shared countless such stories, each expressing a sense of “eureka” at finally having a diagnosis for their symptoms! Of all the voices who offered examples of how they express, deny, loathe, live in, and ache from the Craving, it was a sweet seventeenyear-old girl whose experience mostly clearly described the effects of the Genesis 3:16 curse. She wrote,

I’m seventeen, raised by a very liberal mother and an extremely conservative father. That marriage didn’t work out. It ended when I was seven. Since then, I’ve always been very angry about marriage and cynical of love, due to its causing much pain, loneliness, and anxiety in my life. I swore I’d never marry. But even with all that confusion and anger, I still desperately wanted to be noticed and passionately loved by a man. I wanted someone to see and know me. The first guy I had any real relationship with, I clung to for four years, desperate for his attention and love. During those four years, I made many mistakes. I gave him everything I could physically and emotionally just to keep him around (except the actual act of sex). He was a need. A necessity. But why? I hated marriage yet wanted a man.

She “hated marriage yet wanted a man.” I believe that’s the modern-day aftermath of the Fall. The consequence of original sin—and all the ways women have rebelled since then against God’s design—results in both a hatred of God-designed marriage and an insatiable longing for the presence of a guy. (The Craving may not cause you to actually hate marriage, but you may hate God’s specific design and purpose for it. A lot of us struggle with that!) I believe that every daughter of Eve is burdened by both a Craving for a husband and a rebellion against God’s design for marriage. What a mess!

Table of Contents


Part I: The Craving

1 God. Guys. And the Great Mix-Up
2 The Great Fall
3 Getting Lost
4 The Humpty Dumpty Syndrome
5 The Cure for the Craving

Part II: The Love Feast

6 A Hunger for God
7 Get Lost in His Presence: Surrendering to Agape
8 Get Lost in His Pursuit: Returning His Love
9 Get Lost in His Words: Letting Him Cleanse and Restore You
10 Get Lost in His Intimacy: Seeing Yourself as He Does
11 Get Lost in His Strength: Trusting Him to Take Care of You
12 Get Lost in His Friendship: Delighting Yourself in His Desires
13 Get Lost in Exclusive Love for Him: Embracing the Peace of Faithfulness
14 Get Lost in His Story: Joining in the Work of His Heart
15 Get Lost in His Sacrifice: Submitting to His Cross
16 Get Lost in His Proposal: Inviting Others to the Feast

Part III: The Fulfillment

17 Single-Minded
18 What a Guy Lost in God Looks Like: (or, How Do I Know If He’s the One?)
19 What a Girl Lost in God Looks Like: (or, How Do I Know When I’m Ready?)
20 What Happens When Two Get Lost Together

Group Leader’s Guide and Conversation Questions
A Feast of Gratitude

Customer Reviews

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Get Lost: Your Guide to Finding True Love 4.6 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 9 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book came along at the right time. The author is candid and funny and insightful. Very relatable. You will never look at your relationship with God the same. I recommend this to every single woman, young women , like me, in particular!
WereJumpin More than 1 year ago
Love can be so complicated, if we let it. We tend to associate everything with love: We love our friends, animals, food, shows, etc. Dannah breaks it down for us though: Hesed is the Hebrew form of love. Hesed describes the God kind of love for us. In the Greek, this love is called agape. This love is unfailing, and is not rooted in emotionalism or circumstances. It is a love that is about the other and not oneself. Agape is the love we really desire, and it is offered to us. She also shows us at the beginning we are wired for craving. She lets us know it is not wrong to want to be loved, but most of the time we lean on people to offer us love instead of God. Get Lost reveals that we need to get over ourselves and get lost in God. In this book you will guide yourself into an experience of getting to know what it is like to get lost with God: His Word, His Voice, His Love.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Get Lost, Your Guide to Finding True Love", is all about focusing your relationship on God more than a guy.  Author Dannah Gresh shares how she was transformed by a saying that she heard.  "A woman should be so lost in God that a guy has to seek Him to find her".  Ooh, gives me chills. Dannah explains how to stop looking for love in all the wrong places by refocusing your desires on getting closer to God.  She leads readers on a 10 day love feast which challenges readers.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
At first, I got this book because I thought it would totally be one of those cheesy books that give you how tos about the dating world. I was fully expecting to not enjoy the book, but I have got to say I ended up liking it a lot. There is some very practical advice on your approach to finding love. No one has ever put things into perspective for me like this! The author, Dannah Gresh, does an amazing job of addressing the issue of replacing God in your life with that 'ideal' relationship, and I think this is a topic so many girls today are facing - yet no body is willing to take the time to discuss! For me, the book wasn't only speaking about boys, it was referring to anything in my life that consumes my thoughts, or that I've tried to use to fill that 'missing piece' or 'hole' inside me! It could be, dreams, goals, accomplishments - doesn't matter! It is only a temporary "fix", replacement, or distraction to the real solution - and that is a relationship with our Heavenly Father! Thank you Dannah for putting into words that spoke so directly to me! I recommend this for all woman and girls! Regardless of if you're married, single, or somewhere in-between! I guarantee it'll change the way you view yourself, as well as your relationships, and pursuit of love!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
asyl2012 More than 1 year ago
Dannah Gresh has got to one of my favorite female authors, and I must say that she hit the nail on the head in this book. When looking at the title, Get Lost: Your Guide to Finding True Love, one probably thinks this book is a "how to" on relationships and finding that "love of your life". Not so, my friend. Of course, she does speak on some of these topics, but Dannah's main focus in this book is falling in love with Christ.  She points out that we as females have a craving given to us by God, but we do not know how to satisfy that craving biblically. Therefore, we try to starve the craving altogether, or we feed the craving things it ought not be fed. Neither ways are honoring to Christ, and they most certainly are not healthy for us. Dannah also addresses getting lost in Christ's presence, pursuit, words, intimacy, strength, friendship, story sacrifice, and much more.   To point out one aspect of this book that is most helpful is a hard thing to do. Nevertheless, it would be this, we   need to be desperate! Desperate not for the attention of a man but desperate to get completely lost in the love of Christ. For when we do that, all else falls into place. It amazes me that so many times we as ladies worry about the most trivial things when deep down, we know that God really is in control. It is time we start living like it and getting a new kind of "desperate".  Phenomenal book. Fun read. Pick up a copy!  I received this book free from Waterbrook Multnomah’s blogging for books and have given my honest review of this book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Heard people talking about this book on Focus on the Family. I want to get because I have very mixed emotions when it comes to romance. Hope this will help.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago