Bite Me

Bite Me

by Shelly Laurenston

Paperback(Mass Market Paperback - Reprint)

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“If you enjoy laughter, witty banter and unforgettable characters in your paranormal romance, you’ll be addicted to Laurenston’s Pride series.” –RT Book Reviews, TOP PICK

Livy Kowalski has no time for idiots. When you shapeshift into a honey badger, getting through life’s irritants is a finely honed skill. Until she gets stuck housing her nutso cousin and dealing with her dad’s untimely and unexplained demise.

That’s where Vic Barinov comes in—or his house does. Vic can’t step outside without coming back to find Livy devouring his honey stash and getting the TV remote sticky. It gets his animal instincts all riled up. But he’ll have to woo her at high speed: all hell is breaking loose, and Livy is leading the charge…

Praise for Shelly Laurenston and The Pride series

“Hot and humorous.”

“Incredibly funny…full of sarcasm, uppity shape shifters, and lots of smexy time in between kicking arse, Bite Me introduces a new breed of shapeshifters whose antics will leave you wide-eyed and rolling on the ground.” --SmexyBooks

“Hilarious, sexy fun. The dialogue is smart and funny, and at times outrageously shocking.” –Heroes & Heartbreakers

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780758265265
Publisher: Kensington
Publication date: 09/27/2016
Series: Pride Stories Series , #9
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 400
Sales rank: 310,137
Product dimensions: 4.10(w) x 6.70(h) x 1.20(d)
Age Range: 18 Years

About the Author

Shelly Laurenston is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of the Pride, Call of Crows, and The Honey Badger Chronicles, as well as winner of the RT Book Reviews Readers' Choice Award for her 2016 novel, The Undoing. When she’s not writing about sexy wolf, honey badger, lion, and other fang-filled predators, she's writing about sexy dragons as G.A. Aiken, the acclaimed and bestselling author of the Dragon Kin series. Originally from Long Island, she now lives on the West Coast and spends most of her time writing and making sure her rescued Pit bull doesn’t love everyone into a coma.  Please visit her online at

Read an Excerpt

Bite Me

The Pride Series

By Shelly Laurenston


Copyright © 2014 Shelly Laurenston
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-7582-6524-1


Livy Kowalski blew out a breath when the battling females landed hard on top of the casket.

Livy's father was in that casket. And it was her father's sister and Livy's mother busy fighting on top of it.

Her cousin Jake leaned in and whispered, "Like watching a somber and ancient grieving ceremony with the Windsor family, isn't it?"

Thank God Jake was here. She didn't know if she could have faced this nightmare without him.

No. Not the death of her father, but dealing with her family. Then again, this was how they mourned. Although why they all seemed so surprised by her father's death, Livy didn't know. Damon Kowalski was not exactly known for his quiet, even-tempered ways. He was a thief, a liar, a brawler, an instigator, and a drinker. Not just a drinker, but a honey badger drinker. Her father drank liquor spiked with different snake poisons. Poisons that would kill most humans unless they were treated immediately with antivenin—and sometimes not even then—but for HBs they merely caused a ridiculous high and intense hunger.

Most of Livy's kind just kept their venom intake to the rattler family, but her father had actually tried the more odious poison-spiked beers and tequila, like Black Mamba or the Puff Adder.

And, sadly, her father hadn't been right since the first time he drank that swill, going from a verbose, sometimes annoying thief to a downright bastard of a human being.

It had become so bad that, eventually, even Livy's mother refused to put up with him. She'd thrown him out of their Washington State home and eventually divorced him, but the connection between her parents had always been ... ridiculous. Because no matter how much they argued, no matter how many times they threw things at each other, or threatened each other with the murder of whomever they might be dating at the moment, there were two things the pair did well together—sex and stealing.

Livy's parents made a great team when it came to stealing, and money was king to the honey badger shifter. Because money allowed them to pursue their off-putting lifestyle without worries as well as purchase extremely robust and necessary health insurance—plastic surgery for scarring could be costly these days.

And, it turned out, money also allowed for even more robust life insurance that Livy's aunt didn't think Livy's mother had a right to, considering her parents had been divorced since Livy was fifteen. Sadly, Livy's mother didn't agree with that logic since she'd been the one paying the premiums on that insurance for the last twenty years, always guessing that she'd easily outlive Damon Kowalski. Even if that meant killing him herself.

Even worse, this particular issue came to a head at Damon's graveside. Not appropriate for most people during a funeral, but honey badgers ... well, "appropriate" was relative when it came to Livy's kind.

Livy looked around at the rest of her relatives, wondering if some of her uncles or cousins would break her mother and aunt apart—but they were too busy watching ... and drinking ... and bickering among themselves.

"So you're still hanging around with her, huh?"

Livy glanced over her shoulder at "her."

Toni Jean-Louis Parker, in her mourning best, gave Livy a little wave and an encouraging smile. That smile said, "You can get through this!" Livy hoped her friend was right.

But Toni wasn't here for Livy on her own. There was also Toni's parents, Jackie and Paul. Sadly, Toni's brother Cooper and Toni's sister Cherise were on tour in Europe. They were brilliant musicians who got a lot of money to perform for sold-out audiences. Their sixteen-year-old sister Oriana was training—and soon to perform—with the Royal Ballet in England. Twelve-year-old Kyle was studying art in Italy. Tenyearold Troy was getting his master's in math ... or science ... one of those. Livy never really knew or cared. Eight-year-old Freddy was getting his bachelor's in theoretical physics and, in his off time, creating video games that were seriously fun. The youngest brother, six-year-old Dennis, was studying architecture; and the three-year-old twins, Zia and Zoe, were busy learning the many dialects of most of the world's major languages while terrorizing their nanny by just being themselves.

Oh. And there was nineteen-year-old Delilah, but no one really talked about her much. She was currently running a cult in Upstate New York that saw her as their messiah. She and her cult were also making the federal government kind of nervous, but the family liked to pretend that wasn't happening.

And no, Livy wasn't a blood relative of the Jean-Louis Parkers. They were jackals, after all. In the wild, their kind were enemies. Then again, HBs were enemies to ... well ... everyone. Lions. Hyenas. Leopards. Beekeepers. Beekeepers really hated their kind, but only because one didn't find grizzly bears on the African plains. Yet the fact that Livy wasn't blood had never mattered to the Jean-Louis Parkers. As far as they were concerned, she was family, which was why Toni had left her job in Manhattan and come with Livy to watch Livy's mother deck her ex-husband's younger sister while scuffing up the steel casket of her ex-husband.

Jake looked Livy over. "Where is it?"

"Where's what?"

"Your camera. I don't think I've ever seen you without it."

Livy shrugged. "Seemed wrong to bring my camera to my father's funeral," she lied.

"You brought it to our great-aunt's funeral in Poland. Won awards for the pictures you took, if I remember correctly."

"I think the novelty of it won that award. You don't see a lot of knife fights break out at the funerals of hundred-and-eight-year-old women."

Jake glanced back at Toni again. "I have to admit, she's gotten really cute."

"She's got a mate now."

"Really? Too bad."


"Mates complicate things."

Livy shrugged. "Never did for my parents."

"Now, now ..." He motioned to Livy's mother and their aunt busy slapping each other like they were on an old episode of Dynasty. "Clearly your mom is going through her own form of mourning over her mate."


Vic Barinov waited with his back to the wall. And while he waited, he thought about food. He was hungry.

Thankfully, he knew of at least two good steakhouses in this Albanian city. One catered to all shifters and the other specifically to bears. There were a lot of bears in Eastern Europe, some of the biggest in Ukraine and Siberia.

Unfortunately, Vic wouldn't be able to have something to eat until he got this done. And he'd already been standing by this wall for the last three hours. But Vic had lots of patience. He could lie in wait for days, if necessary. Yet that sort of thing hadn't been necessary since he'd stopped working for the U.S. government. He'd left suddenly, fed up with all the politics, but at the time, he wasn't sure what he'd do with the rest of his life to ensure he could pay his bills, especially his food bill, which could be quite substantial.

Freelance work, however, had worked out better than he could have hoped. And being a crossbreed—grizzly bear and Siberian tiger—had, for once, been to his benefit. Plus his ability not only to speak eight different languages, including Russian, Polish, German, and Albanian, but to know and understand the culture of most of these nations, kept the money rolling in, and for the first time in a long time, Vic was beginning to feel his life had some stability. It was nice.

Ears twitching, Vic heard the sound of heavy panting. He lifted his head, sniffed the air. Scented the full-human running down the street toward him.

Vic waited until the panting was right beside him, then ...

Reaching out, Vic caught hold of his target's neck and yanked him into the alley.

Feet still running, arms still pumping, his target hadn't even realized he was no longer touching the ground.

Vic held him like that until the local police charged past. Once he was sure they were gone, he lowered his target to the ground but kept hold of the man's neck. By now, the target had realized he was no longer running from the police. He briefly seemed relieved by that, until he was forced to drop his head back in order to see Vic's face.

"Oh ... Victor. Hello."

"There are people looking for you, Bohdan."

"Don't hand me over to them, Victor," Bohdan begged while trying to twist out of Vic's grasp. "You know what they'll do to me."

"I don't know anything. Except that people are looking for you."

Vic pushed away from the wall, Bohdan still in his hand.

"Wait! Wait! I have information. Information you'll want."

"I don't need any information."

"What about Whitlan?"

Vic stopped moving, eyes narrowing on Bohdan's desperate face. "Lying to me won't help you, little man," Vic growled in Russian.

"I'm not lying."


Bohdan pointed at Vic's hand, which was still around Bohdan's neck. "Little tight."

"And it can get much tighter. Don't make me show you how much."

Bohdan's eyes widened in panic, which was kind of sad, because Vic really wasn't putting any effort into what he was doing. If he did, he could pulverize the bones in Bohdan's neck. These full-humans ... so breakable.

"Talk, little man."

"Packages sent in and out of country from Whitlan."

Vic frowned. "How do you know they were from Whitlan? They could have been from anybody."

"I saw him. I saw Frankie Whitlan."

Now Vic smirked. "You? You saw Frankie Whitlan? A man no one has seen in more than two years?"

"No one has seen him in America, maybe. But he is friend to many in Russia, Poland, Romania, Bulgaria ..."

"Is he a friend of yours?"

"No. But I was in warehouse that day. Big boxes he sent out. He wanted to make sure everything perfect. He sent them on boat."

"Going where?"

"All over. But I know that at least one went to Miami."

"And who helped him ship these boxes?"

Now Bohdan smirked. "I like my throat without big slash across it, Victor Barinov."

That was fair enough. Most likely Whitlan had gotten himself involved with mobsters who'd tear someone like Bohdan apart for no other reason than they were bored.

Vic opened his hand and Bohdan dropped to the ground, landing on his knees with a grunt.

"You won't regret this, Victor Barinov," Bohdan said, grinning widely and rubbing his throat. "I knew I could help!"

Vic stepped over Bohdan and walked out of the alley. He stopped at the curb, pulling his phone out of his pocket. While he speed-dialed a number, he saw a few of the local police running back toward the alley, still searching for Bohdan.

Vic pointed into the alley and the officers nodded their thanks before charging in and taking Bohdan down. It was a loss of some easy cash for Vic, but the information he'd received about Whitlan was much more important.

"Yeah?" he heard on the other end of the phone. Dee-Ann Smith of the Smith Pack was not what one would call a chatty She-wolf. Or friendly.

"I've got information," he said cryptically, not willing to put too much detail out over the air. But he didn't need to say Whitlan's name to Dee-Ann. Frankie Whitlan was the most wanted full-human in shifter history. All three major organizations were trying to track him down and execute him for participating in and running expeditions to hunt shifters. But the man had the uncanny ability to disappear. Or he had some very powerful people protecting him. Whatever it was, the Group—the American shifter protection agency; Katzenhaus Securities—the feline protection organization—also called KZS; and the Bear Preservation Council—the worldwide bear protection organization—also called BPC, simply could not track the man down. All they needed was a location so they could send in either Dee-Ann Smith or KZS's sharpshooter Cella Malone to take him out. But after several years, they'd been unable to lock on the guy.

"When can you get back here?" she asked.

"I'll get the first plane out."


The call disconnected and Vic continued moving down the Albanian street toward his rental car.

"Where are we going?" a voice said behind Vic.

"Back to the States."


Vic stopped walking, faced the shifter behind him. Shen Li smiled at Vic around the short bamboo stalk he had in his mouth.

"I don't need you to come with me."

"Were you planning on leaving me in Albania?"

Shen, a giant panda born and raised in San Francisco, had a specific set of skills that Vic used for some jobs. They were longtime colleagues who'd worked for the government together. Now that both were doing freelance work, Vic brought Shen in as needed. But Vic didn't think Shen was needed for this.

"You can get back on your own, can't you?"

"Don't speak Albanian. You do."

"Oh. Right. Okay. Well then, sure. You can come with me."


The pair started off again in silence, except for the seemingly never-ending sound of Shen chewing on his bamboo stalks.

"So what's our next job?" Shen asked and Vic stopped again.

He faced Shen. "You do understand we're not partners, right?"

"We're not?"


"Why not?"

"It's easier for me to work alone and call you in when I need you."

Shen chewed and chewed while his dark brown eyes gazed at Vic.

And this was the problem with being a hybrid. Vic's bear side had no issue with the staring and the silence and the bamboo-munching. The feline side of him, however ... wanted to tear Shen's face off. Just for that damn munching sound alone.

Working extremely hard, Vic reined in his feline tendencies and suggested, "Why don't we talk about this at another time? We need to get our stuff from the hotel and find the first plane out of here."

"Okie-dokie!" Shen walked off, and in an attempt to get control, Vic shook his head a bit, the feline snarl out of the back of his throat before he could stop it. The few full-humans walking by quickly gave him a wide berth ... and he couldn't remotely blame them for it.

Calm and controlled again, Vic followed Shen to the rental car and, eventually, back to the States.

"How's it going?" Toni asked as she handed Livy a dark German beer.

Livy had insisted Toni's parents not attend the after-funeral get-together at her parents' house. The Jean-Louis Parkers were such nice people, it wouldn't be fair. But nothing would deter Antonella. She was determined to be part of the entire, horrifying ride.

Livy took the cap off her beer with her hand, yawned, took a drink, shrugged. "Fine."

"That bad, huh?"

"It could be worse."

"You're at your father's funeral—"

"I'm sure he was killed for a very good reason."

"—your mother is fighting with his entire family over money—"

"In her mind, the fact that she didn't kill him herself means she earned that money."

"—someone unleashed poisonous snakes in the backyard—"

"For the kids to have something to play with."

"—and your father's mistress just showed up."

Livy turned and watched the tall Serbian supermodel strut through the hallway toward Livy's mother. She wore all black, including a black fur stole, and black six-inch Louboutin shoes. Livy's mother spotted her instantly, and without saying a word, she was suddenly surrounded by her sisters and female cousins.

"Cool," Livy muttered. "Fight."

"You can't let your mother fight her."

"She probably won't. But my aunt Teddy will definitely take her on. Because I'm pretty sure before she started dating my dad, that model was dating one of Teddy's sons. And you know how Teddy is about"—Livy dropped her voice and put on her best Polish accent—" 'my beautiful, beautiful boys. They are from God, no?' "

Toni shook her head. "I swear, your entire family is like an episode of Dallas."

"I was thinking more like Dynasty, but without the shoulder pads. My people do not need shoulder pads."

Livy watched her mother—birth name Chuntao Yang; American name she'd chosen when she was nine and just moved to the States, Joan—stand her ground as the last woman Livy's father had been sleeping with walked up to her.

Toni rubbed her nose and stated very quietly, "She's fullhuman."

"That was his kink."

"I mean, Livy, she's full-human."

Livy shrugged, watching as her mother leaned in and whispered something to the woman. "Then I suggest we not let her in the backyard."


Whatever her mother said, it must have been a doozy, because the woman leaned back, then hauled off and slapped Joan across the face, snapping the She-badger's head to one side.


Excerpted from Bite Me by Shelly Laurenston. Copyright © 2014 Shelly Laurenston. Excerpted by permission of KENSINGTON PUBLISHING CORP..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Bite Me 4.6 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 147 reviews.
SacKizzie More than 1 year ago
I found this series when I asked J.R. Ward fans what I should read while waiting on the next installment of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. THIS AUTHOR AND BOOKS ARE IN NO WAY SIMILAR TO THE SERIES! That being said, I was kicked out of bed by my husband at two o'clock in the morning because I could not put the first book down and I could not stop laughing. The books read like your favorite episode of Wile E. Coyote and the roadrunner. Please...PLEASE... do not let that be a deterrent from reading this series and Shelley Laurentston's Magnus Pack, because you will be missing out. BIG TIME! There's action and adventure and suspense but who cares when the shenanigans of the characters are making you howl with laughter. I cannot wait until the full story is out. I'm currently re-reading the others now in preparation and yes, I still laugh aloud.
dsubsits More than 1 year ago
Bite Me (Pride, #9) by Shelly Laurenston Livy Kowalski is a honey badger shifter that comes from a family of felons.  Vic Barinov is a bear-tiger shifter hybrid whose parents help put many of Liz’s family behind bars.  The unlikely couple work together to bring the man who killed Livy’s father to justice – the shifter way.   I love Shelly Laurenston.  Every time I read her work, I laugh so hard I cry.  Seriously, how does she come up with this stuff?  Maybe it’s because I’m an animal lover, but I adore all the quirks the different shape shifters have and how they related to the actual animal groups. One evening I was reading the scene where Livy was jousting. I was laughing so hard I was afraid I was going to wake my family up.    Vic is one of the few people that gets Livy, especially her humor, which I love.  Livy like other honey badgers is just mean.  The two together are great, complementing each other well. I love that Laurenston continues to use characters from the previous books, and I enjoy all their goofy conversations.  I don’t think I will ever get enough of Dee-Ann Smith’s wolf and Cella Malone’s tiger antics.  Plus, the books would not be the same without Blayne, she just so, well, Blayne.  Then there are the male lions and their hair.  The list goes on.  I’m so glad I discovered Shelly Laurenston years ago.  She is one of those authors whose books I reread.  If you have never read her work, you have got to do so.  Especially if you enjoy laughing.   Complimentary copy provided by publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.  
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I love how the author includes the badger's animal instinct, to crawl into a burrow-like environment in the shifter's human form, to allow the human state to find emotional comfort at a depressing time in her life.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I hate getting into a book to find out it doesn't fully come out for a few more months. I really enjoy Shelly's storytelling and always lose myself in her books. This is just the same. Which is why I don't normally do samples; I was ready to lose myself. But there was nowhere to go. I can't wait to get my hands on this one.
Sociologically More than 1 year ago
Since I have read the Pack series and the Magnus Pack series, this little excerpt was just a tease. I wish I would have known because I would have waited until the full edition came out. I am not saying that this little part was not enjoyable, because it was, I just can't wait until I can read the whole story.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Cant wait April is to far!! Love the series have read all books twice! So would recommend!! B
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Love, love, LOVE this author and series so much, I have had to force myself to stop re-reading her books every month.  There is no other author that I've found that can compare to Shelly Laurenston's style, humor and script. Can not get enough! And might I just add on a final note, BADGER!
northamericanwordcat More than 1 year ago
Review   A Honey Badger Shifter Heroine!!!! Honey Badger Don't Care!   I loved Livy in the Book 8 of the Pride Series and she makes a lovely leading lady here. If by lovely, you mean to be feared and I do.    There is a great deal of fun to be had in what will be the last Pride Series book for a while. The world building is strong and almost the whole cast wanders in for a spotlight. Its a funny book and wraps up several mysteries.   The conflict in the bear/cat hybrid hero is good. I wish we had a bit more of the heroine and more couple time but overall  I enjoyed the love story as a long time fan of the series.   I will admit if this wasn't one of my favorite series already, it wouldn't have hooked me.    I am excited about Laurenston's new series which takes her Gathering Girls out West.    The ennui that Livy has at the start of this romance seems to mirror some of the feelings Laurenston is having about this series. I hope the new world refreshes her love of writing and that she will come back here to give that Bear Hybrid Girl and several others their HEA.    I was given this book for my honest review. So, there you have it. 
Judy-Ree More than 1 year ago
I have been a huge fan of Shelly Laurenston back to the days when she her writing her Magnus Pack series back in 2006. So needless to say when I saw an opportunity to get this book on Goodreads, I jumped on it. This is one of my Dead Tree Keeper Shelf series, so I will be purchasing it when it releases on March 25th. This is the story of Livy and Vic. Both characters that we met in the last Pride book, Wolf with Benefits. Livy was such an awesomely unique character. Its not every day that you run across a Honey Badger. I looked her animal up after encountering her in the last book, and can I just say, "Wowzers!" Honey Badgers are the kick your ass critter of the animal world. Any animal that can survive being bitten by a pit viper and basically sleeping it off it pretty awesome!  And that describes Livy right down to the bone. She has these amazing quirks that all the Laurenston characters are known for, just ramped up another notch.  Vic on the other had is half grizzly bear and half Siberian tiger. He is former military and is now working doing freelance jobs. Vic has strong ties to the Russian communities since his parents are Russian and very involved with Interpol.  Which makes things a bit difficult since both sides of Livy's family are known high end thieves. These two characters are so perfect for one another, they seem to slide effortlessly into this amazing relationship.  It looks like this might be the last book in the series for a while, as Ms. Laurenston has stated that she plans on working on a new series and a long running story arc concludes rather quietly in this book (exactly the way the shifters prefer things). This was a fabulous book and another wonderful addition to the series. I gave it 5 stars.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I thought I would read the beginning before bed, but it was only fifteen pages. Disappointed.
Anonymous 8 months ago
There are books you just keep going back to when you want a good read. The pride series is that for me. I adore Livy’s story and Dee Ann makes me smile. Well written and fun.
Anonymous 8 months ago
Anonymous 12 months ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I love characters and personalities.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Just the right amount of drama, and the BEST sarcasm and come backs that have you laughing out loud. I stop reading her books only because I don't have all the money in the world to buy them all. I`m trying to pace myself.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Love the Ratel !!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Humor, romance, and problem solving create a great story line and book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I like these books
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Loved it! Livy is my favorite character.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
If you don't lol all through it you are crazy. One of her best!!!!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
There's action, angst, comedy, sex, thrills and oh!! This series just makes me laugh and laugh and laugh! !
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great for a fun read that has a story line.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Another amazing novel by Shelly Laurenston! I can’t wait for the next ones in the series!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The shifters is amazing and I enjoy the world and all of the characters they keep coming and visiting with each book. I love all of the Corks and actions of the characters. I love books I can laugh with
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Loved it!