by Kristin Harmel

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Lacey's world shatters when her dad is killed in a car accident. And secretly? She feels like it’s her fault. If she hadn’t taken her own sweet time getting ready that morning . . . well, it never would have happened. Her mom wouldn’t be a basket case. Her brother Logan wouldn’t drink. And her little brother would still have two parents.

But life goes on even if you don’t want it to. And when Lacey gets the chance to make a difference in the lives of some people at school, she jumps at it. Making lemonade out of lemons is her specialty. Except she didn’t count on meeting a guy like Sam. Or that sometimes? Lemonade can be a pretty bitter drink to swallow.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780375894886
Publisher: Random House Children's Books
Publication date: 02/09/2010
Sold by: Random House
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 150,440
File size: 2 MB
Age Range: 12 Years

About the Author

Kristin Harmel is a longtime contributor to People magazine. It was while working on a People story that she got to meet Kate Atwood, who runs Kate’s Club, an organization for grieving kids in Atlanta, which inspired this novel. Kristin lives in Orlando, Florida. To learn more about Kristin, visit her at

Read an Excerpt

Chapter 1  


"And then I told Willow that her shoes were totally the wrong color for that outfit and actually, the shirt is really hideous anyhow, and I couldn't believe she was going to actually go out in that, never mind go to the movies with me, and then Melixa said to me..."  

Sydney droned on and on from the front seat as I tried in vain to tune her out. Her high-pitched, squeaky voice made that pretty impossible, though. My best friend, Jennica, and I had decided that she must be trying to attract boys by sounding like a squeak toy, but until recently, I'd been sure that it only attracted dogs and whales and whatever else could hear such a high frequency.  

But then she landed Logan, who apparently found squeakiness enticing. This pretty much meant that I was stuck with her, because she was now our official ride to school. Mom had refused to let me or Logan take our driver's tests since the accident, so it was either the school bus or hitching a ride with Logan's popularity-obsessed girlfriend.  

"Uh-huh," Logan said patiently from the passenger seat, as if he were actually listening. As far as I could tell, Sydney was telling the longest story in the world about a bunch of senior cheerleaders who didn't matter to me at all.  

"So what do you think?" Sydney finally paused for what I was pretty sure was the first breath she had taken since picking us up ten minutes ago.  

"Um...," Logan began, his voice trailing off. I hid a smile. He obviously hadn't been listening either. I watched in amusement as he struggled for words. "What do I think?" he said finally. "I think you're the most beautiful girlfriend in the world."  

Oh, gag me. I waited for Sydney to realize that he was completely copping out, but instead she giggled, turned a weird shade of pink, and glanced at me in the rearview.  

"What do you think, Lacey?" she asked. "Don't you think Summer was acting totally slutty? I mean, considering she's practically engaged to Rob Macavey?"  

I sighed. "I don't even really know her."  

"Everyone knows Summer Andrews," Sydney said, looking at me like I was a mental patient.  

"Right." I bit my tongue. What I wanted to say was that everyone knew who Summer Andrews was--the cheerleading, BMW-driving, shiny-haired queen bee of our school--but that there were few people she actually deigned to talk to. And I was not one of them.I was pretty popular in my own grade, but I was definitely more bookworm than beauty-pageant contestant, which meant that Summer and her crowd hardly knew I was alive.  

Logan was a different story. Since he and social-climbing Sydney had begun dating six months ago, he had come home more than once proudly reporting--out of Mom's earshot, of course--that he'd gotten drunk alongside Summer Andrews and her clones, Willow and Melixa, at parties. Like that was some major accomplishment.  

But I refrained from saying any of this, because Logan would kill me if I did. He always seemed to be walking on thin ice around Sydney. I must have been making a face without meaning to, though, because Sydney glanced at me once more in the rearview and snorted.  

"Oh come on, Lacey," she said. "Just because you're too busy making straight As and going to student council meetings and whatever else you think is so important doesn't mean that the rest of us can't have a social life."  

I simmered for a minute. I was good at shutting my mouth, pressing my feelings into a little lockbox inside, and turning the key. I took a deep breath, blinked a few times, and said, "Wow, look at that! We're here already!"  

Before either of them could respond, I hopped out of the car and began striding across the junior lot toward the school building without bothering to look back. Somewhere behind me, Sydney was babbling about how she couldn't believe I'd jumped out of hercar before she'd even had a chance to park.      

It was the end of the third week of school, and already, it seemed to have turned to fall. Last summer, the heat had hung on for ages, taunting us cruelly from outside the classroom windows with persistent rays of sunshine. But this year, the New England dreariness had moved in early, bringing hulking gray clouds and winds with a chilly edge. The first leaves on the trees were turning, seemingly overnight, from muted greens to the deep reds, oranges, and golden yellows that always reminded me of a sunset. I wasn't ready for it to be autumn again, but the seasons seemed to march on without caring.  

Forty-five minutes after hopping out of Sydney's car, I was in trig class, trying to pay attention, which was hard to do considering that Jennica, who sat beside me, kept trying to get my attention. I was attempting to ignore her.  

Math came easily to me. I had always wanted to be an architect when I grew up, like my dad. Plus, there was something about the clear-cut right and wrong of math equations that I found appealing. In math, there were no gray areas. There were rules, and I'd discovered that when you stayed inside the lines, life made a lot more sense.

"Psst!" Jennica hissed. I glanced to my right, where she had angled her desk closer to mine and was holding out a folded square of paper.  

I glanced to the front of the room, where Mrs. Bost, our twentysomething teacher, was jotting a series of cosine problems on the board. In the few weeks we'd been in school, I'd already discovered that she had superhuman hearing. I suspected she could hear a note unfolding from miles away. So I coughed loudly to cover up the crinkling sound as I quickly unfolded Jennica's message.  

You'll never believe this: Brian told me he LOVES ME last night! she'd written. I could feel Jennica's eyes on my face, so I was careful not to do anything inappropriate like, say, wrinkle my nose or stick out my tongue. It wasn't that I didn't like Brian. He was okay. But he and Jennica were so lovey-dovey with each other that I felt nauseated half the time I was around them. And much as I hated to admit it, I was a little jealous. I was the one Jennica had done everything with and told all her secrets to since we met in the first grade. And now Brian was her constant companion, and I felt like the third wheel.  

It was like I'd lost my best friend. But it was selfish to feel that way, so I told myself not to. I'd gotten good at deciding how I should and shouldn't feel. Sometimes I felt like the director of the movie of my own life, yelling action in my head andthen setting scenes in motion the way I'd decided they'd go.  

I pulled out my cell phone, checked to make sure Mrs. Bost wasn't looking, and quietly texted Jennica: great. I watched as she silently pulled her cell from her purse, read my text, and frowned. She thought for a second, and I tried to tune back in to Mrs. Bost while Jennica typed. But the lecture was boring, and I was tired of thinking about trig and boyfriends and all the other dumb stuff that went along with eleventh grade. I was itching to graduate and get out of this place, to move on to the next phase of my life and leave Plymouth East behind, but I had a year and nine more months to go. It was endless.

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After 4.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 22 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
A book about loss, grief and healing. It was a good effort, and by far the best book written by this author to date, but I still had some difficulty picking up a connection between most of the characters. There is nothing worse than losing a loved one; especially at a young age, but the reader doesn't really have a chance to feel sorry for Lacey. A self-proclaimed do-gooder; she tries picking up the pieces of what's left of her family after the death of her father, yet she complains about it (in her head) throughout most of the book. There's also something about the way she treats her best friend and new boyfriend, Sam. I couldn't quite put my finger on it but it felt degrading somehow. Starting a club for the other kids at her school who have also lost a parent is a wonderful gesture, but her character doesn't really reflect that type of nature. The only relationship that felt real and connected was the one between Lacey and her brother, Logan. I thought that their "scenes" were really well written and believable. The story flows okay, there are a couple of cheesy parts involving a leaf pile and a rainbow, but all in all not a bad read. I would recommend Sarah Dessen's The Truth About Forever; a story about a teen named Macy, who's a runner and who also loses her father, for a more in depth look on how grief shapes people.
snaprebelx on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
A very quick read, as I read 90 percent of it in one night. Sam's story left me floored and the event at the end had me anxious as I knew I only had a few pages left and the story didnt seem like it was wrapping up. But it was a nice ending.I really felt for Lacey playing the "what if" game.
stephxsu on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Nearly a year after the car accident that killed her father, Lacey Mann still can¿t help feeling guilty for his death. If only she had not taken so long getting ready that morning. If only she had yelled out when she saw the car approaching. But now her father is gone, and her family has spun off in different directions, and try as hard as she can to be the good daughter and keep everything working, there¿s still a huge part of her that is still not healed.When the new guy, Sam, begins to show an interest in her, Lacey doesn¿t know how to react. She¿s tired of being pitied, tired of always being thought of as the girl with the dead father. But then Lacey starts a group at school for students with dead parents, and slowly she learns how love changes and can fit into her new life without forgetting the past.AFTER is a gentle and sweet read about death and love. The book doesn¿t cover any new ground, but it makes for a quick, pleasant read.The characters¿ dilemmas regarding, grief, friendship, family, and love are realistically complex. Grief affects people differently, and in AFTER we get to see many different facets of it: Lacey¿s younger brother¿s silent withdrawal, her older brother diving into a relationship that she can¿t understand, her mother flinging herself into work and neglecting the rest of the family. The different situations, breakdowns, and verbal showdowns that Kristin Harmel portrays in this story are rendered accurately and sensitively.However, many of the characters¿ interactions with one another still felt rather forced to me. While I appreciated and could even understand Lacey¿s uncertain feelings toward Sam, it is not well explained why Sam had such a persistent interest in her. And, unfortunately, there really was nothing new in this book: there are already a number of YA books on grief out there.AFTER is a quick but ultimately forgettable read that may perhaps best be enjoyed by readers who either understand what Lacey is going through or are looking for an easy and quick read.
galleysmith on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
A sweetly told story of a teenaged girl¿s struggle to survive the unexpected death of her father, After, was a quick subtle read.There was a fair share of angst, as one would expect from a story based on the loss of a parent, but it wasn¿t of the hang-wringing, over wrought into hysterical depression variety. It was understated and for a book of short length paced very well. Surprisingly, Harmel was able to deep dive into the subject matter with ease and tremendous focus despite the book¿s brevity. Kudos to her skill as a writer.To do so she created a unique plotline with the invention of Lacey¿s community service type endevor. I don¿t want to spoil what that endeavor was here, but it seemed to me to be a productive and healthy way to work through the emotion and loss she was feeling. A further advantage was the addition of a cadre of support characters. None of which felt unecessary or took on too much focus.That is, except Sam. As the object of Lacey¿s affection the new boy in town was a kindred spirit directly upon his arrival in her life. Bonding with Lacey over a shared sense of loss the two became fast friends that blossomed into more. But wait, there may be a bit more to it than the typical boy meets girl, boy and girl fall for each other, and boy and girl live happily every after. Again, I¿m not going to spoil the finer and most intriguing points of the story, but I will say that as the relationship develops and you get invested in it, there is a pretty powerful punch waiting along the way. It was good too!I¿ve made not qualms about being a fan of Kristin Harmel¿s. I¿ve read all but one of her books and loved each. After is no exception, it is a fantastic read and one that may help a child who has lost a parent deal with the aftermath in a positive and constructive way.
Jac8604 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
While some parts smacked of 'after school special' and there was a marked lack of subtlety, I can't deny that I shed a few tears. What can I say? I'm a sucker when it comes to grief stories.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
So far im on chapter 3 page 30 let me say one of the best books ever!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
OMG I really love this book best
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
WE LUVED IT -Triple K girls (Krystan Kat Kaya)
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
That is so sad girl under me i almost cried
Shayla Willis More than 1 year ago
This was a really awesome book. Not only was it intersting and hard-hitting, i could relate to everything she was feeling. My dad died as well but from natural causes about 11 years ago(i'm 18 now). So i know how it feels to lose someone you love dearly... I know its kind of clich¿ but you really DONT know what you have until its gone. I would recommend this to just about everyone!!
BookReader920713 More than 1 year ago
Great book. Sad story. Kristin Harmel, you rock! Deff a five-star novel. :)
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annie396 More than 1 year ago
After was such an amazing book. i could not put it down. It also inspired me that a girl could have so much confidence to do what she did. this book will always have an impact on my life and i would recommend it to anyone!!!!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book was a really good read. Thought me alot about the things that i have in my life like my ... dad. at one point i was even crying because i kind of saw how ungrateful i have been for the things that i have. The main character in the book Lacey you could definetly kinda feel the same emotions that she was feeling at any given point in the book even when her life was like a downward spiral. And Sam the guy that was there for her the whole time. Although she was mad at him for bending the truth about his dad a little she still found it in her heart to forgive him and in the end he was right there to help her through the things that she was going throught at the time. And her older brother Logan although he act tough you could still sense that he was hurting and she did everything in her power to make him feel better even when that ment to just leave him alone. i totally recommend this book if you are looking for a little cry and a little laugh with a little romance twist in it. All and all it was a really good book that seems to can never get boring :)
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
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TeensReadToo More than 1 year ago
Sixteen-year-old Lacey had her life turned upside down one Saturday morning, when a routine trip for breakfast with her dad and two brothers turned tragic. Just minutes from their house, Lacey's father was killed and Lacey was seriously hurt in a car accident that no one could have predicted. Lacey has spent the last year of her life blaming herself and trying to hold her family together. She tells herself that if only she hadn't taken as long getting ready or didn't spend time deliberately teasing her brothers, then maybe her father would be alive today. When a new boy named Sam arrives at school, the last thing Lacey wants is for him to tell her he understands. No one really knows unless they've lost a parent. So how can this new boy act like he understands her when she knows he doesn't? Despite what she's telling herself, Lacey really likes Sam and wants to give him the benefit of the doubt. But juggling her own grief and a relationship is a lot harder than she thought. Especially when she's asked to comfort fellow student Kelsi, who just lost her mom. Then one day, Lacey comes up with the idea to start a club for all of the other kids in school who have lost a parent. They don't need to discuss death; all they need to do is get together and have some fun. Lacey wants to create a place where they don't feel so different from everyone else. A place where everyone actually does understand what it's like to lose a parent. As the club grows and Lacey falls for Sam, will she be able to put her father's death behind her and trust that the future will be okay? A heart-wrenching story full of wonderfully crafted characters, AFTER is a book that readers will enjoy until the very last page.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
KHC More than 1 year ago
I loved "After." The characters were so real and the story was so touching, it actually brought tears to my eyes several times! It's an engaging read that really makes you think about relationships and family, and it's hard to put down. I highly recommend it!